#I've been conflicted about this for a long time

[chipthekeeper]

Today I had the displeasure of reading the words “we get it vel is sad and gay can we move on” and several other similarly ridiculous things on twitter a website not to be named, so I spent my whole 45 minute drive home just absolutely fuming with the need to defend my girl. Most of you know I've already done this in a broad sense before (defending her as a character and as half of a complicated relationship on her appreciation Friday), but let me focus in on what we’ve gotten from Vel so far in season two for now. Because yeah, it might not have been exactly what I was hoping to see, but it’s meaningful as hell and Faye is doing a fucking incredible job and deserves to be applauded for it.

Look. Even if all she was doing was being sad and gay, I would be here for that. You know this. Those are two of my most favorite qualities of her. But let’s not pretend that all she’s doing is “mourning her gay situationship” and forget why we’re seeing her in this arc in the first place. She’s Mon’s cousin and closest confidant, and she’s Chandrilan. Stuck between these two facts is a conflict for Vel. She HAS to be at this three-day-long heteronormative child wedding from hell because someone she loves needs her support, but she hates every second of it. She hates this place, these people, this culture, probably even the clothes on her back. She looks uncomfortable just about every second she’s on screen in this arc, ESPECIALLY in the third episode.

See?

Something you may or may not have noticed – even I didn’t really register it until I started thinking about all of this because watching three fucking episodes all in one night made them all blur together – but Vel DOESN’T ACTUALLY SAY A WORD IN THE THIRD EPISODE. She has no lines. Vel’s extreme stress and discomfort are conveyed only through Faye’s body language and facial expressions. To complain about this and cry about her only being “sad and gay” is a huge discredit to the performance and I simply won’t stand for it.

Like yes, she’s sad and gay but why can’t we take a second to think about what that means? Look at her circumstances, even leaving out the Cinta of it all for a second. This is a person who must have realized at a very young age that she was not only different but very likely going to either live a completely miserable life or be a disappointment to her very wealthy family and her society at large, and being back here in the middle of it all for an occasion like this hurts fucking deeply even if it’s a weird tradition and she wants no part in it. I can tell you this for a fact because I have fucking lived it. As a gay person, I have no desire whatsoever to take part in a traditional religious marriage or wedding ceremony like the one my sister had a couple years ago, but being at her wedding and the party that followed was overwhelming and painful because I spent so much time thinking something along the lines of “even if I had someone in my life to do this with, these same people – my family – would never celebrate my love this way.”

Now, is that what Vel’s thinking about as she stands next to the other unmarried women (i.e. teenage children) watching her niece’s first dance with her new husband? Perhaps not. But the way she breaks down after seeing Cinta sure looked an awful lot like how I looked sitting outside in the dark and the rain, drunk as I’ve ever been, while my sister’s reception carried on behind me.

And this, to me in particular, is what’s so great about Vel as a character – as a STAR WARS character – and why I will never ever complain about seeing her be “sad and gay.” For the first time ever in my favorite franchise, I get to see myself so clearly. She’s sad and gay, yes, but she’s also fiercely supportive of her family (the part she likes, anyway) – she takes Mon’s hand in support when she needs it, and she seems ready to snap at Kleya for even being around and creating the possibility of trouble at this function. She’s sad and gay, yes, but she’s on the front line of a fucking rebellion. Just because you don’t see it in this arc because that’s not where the story is focused doesn’t mean that’s not still true, and we’ll see that again come next week I’m sure.

I don’t really know how to wrap this up, but the point is if you’re tired of what’s happening with Vel in this show, you’re probably not paying enough attention. I want more of her and more for her to do as much as anybody (that’s a lie, I want it SO MUCH FUCKING MORE THAN ANYBODY, fucking try me), but there’s already a whole ocean of her character to explore with just what we have, if you only bother to stop and consider it.

[cherry-lala]

The Devil waits where Wildflowers grow

Pairing:Female! Reader x Remmick 

Genre: Southern Gothic, Angst, Supernatural Thriller, Romance Word Count: 15.7k+ Summary: In a sweltering Mississippi town, a woman's nights are divided between a juke joint's soulful music and the intoxicating presence of a mysterious man named Remmick. As her heart wrestles with fear and desire, shadows lengthen, revealing truths darker than the forgotten woods. In the heart of the Deep South, whispers of love dance with danger, leaving a trail of secrets that curl like smoke in the night.

Content Warnings: Emotional and physical abuse, manipulation, supernatural themes, implied violence, betrayal, character death, transformation lore, body horror elements, graphic depictions of blood, intense psychological and emotional distress, brief sexual content, references to alcoholism and domestic conflict. Let me know if I missed any! A/N: My first story on here! Also I’m not from the 1930’s so don’t beat me up for not knowing too much about life in that time.I couldn’t stop thinking about this gorgeous man since I watched the movie. Wanted to jump through the screen to get to him anywayssss likes, reblogs and asks always appreciated. 

The heat clings to my skin like a second husband, just as unwanted as the first. Even with the sun long gone, the air hangs thick enough to drown in, pressing against my lungs as I ease the screen door open. The hinges whine—traitors announcing my escape attempt—and before I can slip out, his voice lashes at my back, mean as a belt strap. "I ain't done talkin' to you, girl." His fingers dig into my arm, yanking me back inside. The dim yellow light from our single lamp casts his face in a shadow, but I don’t need to see his expression. I've memorized every twist his mouth makes when he's like this—cruel at the corners, loose in the middle.

"You been done," I whisper, the words scraping my throat like gravel. My tears stay locked behind my eyes, prisoners I refuse to release. "Said all you needed to say half a bottle ago." Frank's breath hits my face, sour with corn liquor and hate. His pupils are wide, unfocused—black holes pulling at the edges of his irises. The hand not gripping my arm rises slow and wavering, a promise of pain that has become as routine as sunrise. But tonight, the whiskey’s got him too good. His arm drops mid-swing, its weight too much. For the first time in three years of marriage, I don't flinch. He notices. Even drunk, he notices. "The hell's gotten into you?" His words slur together, a muddy river of accusation. "Think you better'n me now? That it?" "Just tired, Frank." My voice stays steady as still water. "That's all." The truth is, I stopped being afraid a month ago. Fear requires hope—the desperate belief that things might change if you're just careful enough, quiet enough, good enough. I buried my hope the last time he put my head through the wall, right next to where the plaster still shows the shape of my skull. I look around our little house—a wedding gift from his daddy that's become my prison. Two rooms of misery, decorated in things Frank broke and I tried to fix. The table with three good legs and one made from an old fence post. The chair with stuffing coming out like dirty snow. The wallpaper peels in long strips, curling away from the walls like they're trying to escape too.

My reflection catches in the cracked mirror above the wash basin—a woman I barely recognize anymore. My eyes have gone flat, my cheekbones sharp beneath skin that used to glow. Twenty-five years old and fading like a dress left too long in the sun. Frank stumbles backward, catching himself on the edge of our bed. The springs screech under his weight. "Where you think you're goin' anyhow?" "Just for some air." I keep my voice gentle, like you'd talk to a spooked horse. "Be back before you know it." His eyes narrow, suspicion fighting through the drunken haze. "You meetin' somebody?" I shake my head, moving slowly around the room, gathering my shawl, and checking my hair. Every movement measured, nothing to trigger him. "Just need to breathe, Frank. That's all." "You breathe right here," he mutters, but his words are losing their fight, drowning in whiskey and fatigue. "Right here where I can see you." I don't answer. Instead, I watch him struggle against sleep, his body betraying him in small surrenders—head nodding, shoulders slumping, breath deepening. Five minutes pass, then ten. His chin drops to his chest. I slip my dancing shoes from their hiding place beneath a loose floorboard under our bed. Frank hates them—says they make me look loose, wanton. What he means is they make me look like someone who might leave him.

He's not wrong.

The shoes feel like rebellion in my hands. I've polished them in secret, mended the scuffs, kept them alive like hope. Can't put them on yet—the sound would wake him—but soon. Soon they'll carry me where I need to go. Frank snores suddenly, a thunderclap of noise that makes me freeze. But he doesn't stir, just slumps further onto the bed, one arm dangling toward the floor. I move toward the door again; shoes clutched to my chest like something precious. The night outside calls to me with cricket songs and possibilities. Through the dirty window, I can see the path that leads toward the woods, toward Smoke and Stack's place where the music will already be starting. Where for a few hours, I can remember what it feels like to be something other than Frank's wife, Frank's disappointment, Frank's punching bag. The screen door sighs as I ease it open. The night air touches my face like a blessing. Behind me, Frank sleeps the sleep of the wicked and the drunk. Ahead of me, there's music waiting. And tonight, just tonight, that music is stronger than my fear.

The juke joint grows from the Mississippi dirt like something half-remembered, half-dreamed. Even from the edge of the trees, I can feel its heartbeat—the thump of feet on wooden boards, the wail of Sammie's guitar cutting through the night air, voices rising and falling in waves of joy so thick you could swim in them. My shoes dangle from my fingers, still clean. No point in dirtying them on the path. What matters is what happens inside, where the real world stops at the door and something else begins. Light spills from the cracks between weathered boards, turning the surrounding pine trees into sentinels guarding this secret. I slip my shoes on, leaning on the passenger side of one of the few vehicles in-front of the juke-joint, already swaying to the rhythm bleeding through the walls. Smoke and Stack bought this place with money from God knows where coming back from Chicago. Made it sturdy enough to hold our dreams, hidden enough to keep them safe. White folks pretend not to know it exists, and we pretend to believe them. That mutual fiction buys us this—one place where we don't have to fold ourselves small. I push open the door and step into liquid heat. Bodies press and sway, dark skin gleaming with sweat under the glow of kerosene lamps hung from rough-hewn rafters. The floor bears witness to many nights of stomping feet, marked with scuffs that tell stories words never could. The air tastes like freedom—sharp with moonshine, sweet with perfume, salty with honest work washed away in honest pleasure. At the far end, Sammie hunches over his guitar, eyes closed, fingers dancing across strings worn smooth from years of playing. He doesn't need to see what he's doing; the music lives in his hands. Each note tears something loose inside anyone who hears it—something we keep chained up during daylight hours.

Annie throws her head back in laughter, her full hips wrapped in a dress the color of plums. She grabs Pearline's slender wrist, pulling her into the heart of the dancing crowd. Pearline resists for only a second before surrendering, her graceful movements a perfect counterpoint to Annie's rare wild abandon. "Come on now," Annie shouts over the music. "Your husband ain't here to see you, and the Lord ain't lookin' tonight!" Pearline's lips curve into that secret smile she saves for these moments when she can set aside the proper church woman and become something truer. In the corner, Delta Slim nurses a bottle like it contains memories instead of liquor. His eyes, bloodshot but sharp, track everything without seeming to. His fingers tap against the bottleneck, keeping time with Sammie's playing. An old soul who's seen too much to be fooled by anything. "Slim!" Cornbread's deep voice booms as he passes, carrying drinks that overflow slightly with each step. "You gonna play tonight or just drink the profits?" "Might do both if you keep askin'," Slim drawls, but there's no heat in it. Just the familiar rhythm of old friends. I step fully into the room and something shifts. Not everyone notices—most keep dancing, talking, drinking—but enough heads turn my way that I feel it. A ripple through the crowd, making space. Recognition.

Smoke spots me from behind the rough-plank bar. His nod is almost imperceptible, but I catch it—permission, welcome, understanding. His forearms glisten with sweat as he pours another drink, muscles tensed like he's always ready for trouble. Because he is. Stack appears beside him, leaning in to say something in his twin's ear. Unlike Smoke, whose energy coils tight, Stack moves with a gambler's grace, all smooth edges, and calculated risks. His eyes find me in the crowd, lingering a beat too long, concern flashing before he masks it with a lazy smile. My feet carry me to the center of the floor without conscious thought. The wooden boards warm beneath my soles, greeting me like an old friend. I close my eyes, letting Sammie's guitar and voice pull me under, drowning in sound. My body remembers what my mind tries to forget—how to move without fear, how to speak without words. My hips sway, shoulders rolling in time with the stomps. Each stomp of my feet sends the day's hurt into the ground. Each twist of my wrist unravels another knot of rage. My dress—faded cotton sewn and resewn until it's more memory than fabric—clings to me as I spin, catching sweat and starlight.

"She needs this," Smoke mutters to Stack, thinking I can't hear over the music. He takes a long pull from his bottle, eyes never leaving me. "Let her be." But Stack keeps watching, the way he watched when we were kids, and I climbed too high in the cypress trees. Like he's waiting to catch me if I fall. I don't plan to fall. Not tonight. Tonight, I'm rising, lifting, breaking free from gravity itself. Mary appears beside me, her red dress a flame against the darkness. She moves with the confidence of youth and beauty, all long limbs and laughter. "Girl, you gonna burn a hole in the floor!" she shouts, spinning close enough that her breath warms my ear. I don't answer. Can't answer. Words belong to the day world, the world of men like Frank who use them as weapons. Here, my body speaks a better truth. The music climbs higher, faster. Sammie's fingers blur across the strings, coaxing sounds that shouldn't be possible from wood and wire. The crowd claps in rhythm, feet stomping, voices joining in wordless chorus. The walls of the juke joint seem to expand with our joy, swelling to contain what can't be contained. My head tilts back, eyes finding the rough ceiling without seeing it. My spirit has already soared through those boards, up past the pines, into a night sky scattered with stars that know my real name. Sweat tracks down my spine, between my breasts, and along my temples. My heartbeat syncs with the drums until I can't tell which is which. At this moment, Frank doesn't exist. The bruises hidden beneath my clothes don't exist. All that exists is movement, music, and the miraculous feeling of being fully, completely alive in a body that, for these few precious hours, belongs only.

The music fades behind me, each step into the woods stealing another note until all that's left is memory. My body still hums with the ghost of rhythm, but the air around me has changed—gone still in a way that doesn't feel right. Mississippi nights are never quiet, not really. There are always cicadas arguing with crickets, frogs calling from hidden places, leaves whispering to each other. But tonight, the woods swallow sound like they're holding their breath. Waiting for something. My fingers tighten around my shawl, pulling it closer though the heat hasn't broken. It's not cold I'm feeling. It's something else. Moonlight cuts through the canopy in silver blades, slicing the path into sections of light and dark. I step carefully, avoiding roots that curl up from the earth like arthritic fingers. The juke-joint has disappeared behind me; its warmth and noise sealed away by the wall of pines. Ahead lies home—Frank snoring in a drunken stupor, walls pressing in, air thick with resentment. Between here and there is only this stretch of woods, this moment of in-between. My dancing shoes pinch now, reminding me they weren't made for walking. But I don't take them off. They're the last piece of the night I'm clinging to, proof that for a few hours, I was someone else. Someone free.

A twig snaps.

I freeze every muscle tense as piano wire. That sound came from behind me, off to the left where the trees grow thicker. Not an animal—too deliberate, too singular. My heart drums against my ribs, no longer keeping Sammie's rhythm but a faster, frightened beat of its own. "Who's there?" My voice sounds thin in the unnatural quiet. For a moment, nothing. Then movement—not a crashing through underbrush, but a careful parting, like the darkness itself is opening up. He steps onto the path, and everything in me goes still. White man. Tall. Nothing unusual about that. But everything else about him rings false. His clothes seem to match the dust of the woods—dusty white shirt, suspenders that catch the moonlight like they're made of something finer than ordinary cloth. Dust clings to his shoes but sweat darkens his collar despite the heat. His skin is pale in a way that seems to glow faintly, untouched by the sun. But it's his eyes that stop my breath. They don't blink enough. And they're fixed on me with a hunger that has nothing to do with what men usually want.

"You move like you don't belong to this world," he says, voice smooth as molasses but cold like stones at the bottom of a well. There's a drawl to his words. He sounds like nowhere and everywhere. "I've watched you dance. On nights like this. It's… spellwork, what you do." My spine straightens of its own accord. I should run. Every instinct screams it. But something else—pride, maybe, or foolishness—keeps me rooted. "I ain't got nothin' for you," I say, keeping my voice steady. My hand tightens on my shawl, though it's poor protection against whatever this man is. "And white men seekin’ me out here alone usually bring trouble." His lips curve upward, but the smile doesn't touch those unblinking eyes. They remain fixed, assessing, and patient in a way that makes my skin prickle. "You think I came to bring you trouble?" The question hangs between us, delicate as spiderweb. I don't trust it. Don't trust him. "I think you should go," I say, taking half a step backward. He matches with a step forward but maintains the distance between us—precise, controlled.

"I'm called Remmick."

"I didn't ask." My voice sharpens with fear disguised as attitude.

"No," he says, nodding thoughtfully. "But something in you will remember."

The certainty in his voice raises the hair on my arms. I study him more carefully—the unnatural stillness with which he holds himself. Something is wrong with this man, something beyond the obvious danger of a man approaching a woman alone in the woods at night. The trees around him seem to bend away slightly, as if reluctant to touch him. Even the persistent mosquitoes that plague these woods avoid the air around him. The night itself recoils from his presence, creating a bubble of emptiness with him at the center. I take another step back, putting more distance between us. My heel catches on a root, but I recover without falling. His eyes track the movement with unsettling precision.

"You can go on now," I say, my voice harder now. "Ain't nobody invited you."

Something changes in his expression at that—a flicker of satisfaction, like I've confirmed something he suspected. His head tilts slightly, almost pleased. "That's true," he murmurs, the words barely disturbing the air. "Not yet."

The way he says it—like a promise, like a threat—makes my breath catch. The moonlight catches his profile as he turns slightly. For a moment, just a moment, I think I see something move beneath that worn shirt—not muscle or bone, but something else, something that shifts like shadow-given substance. Then it's gone, and he's just a man again. A strange, terrifying man standing too still in the woods who wants nothing to do with him. I don't say goodbye. Don't acknowledge him further. Just back away, keeping my eyes on him until I can turn safely until the path curves and trees separate us. Even then, I feel his gaze on my back like a physical weight, pressing against my spine, leaving an imprint that won't wash off.

I don't run—running attracts predators—but I walk faster, my dancing shoes striking the dirt in a rhythm that sounds like warning, warning, warning with each step. The trees seem to whisper now, breaking their unnatural silence to murmur secrets to each other. Behind me, the woods remain still. I don't hear him following. Somehow, that's worse. As if he doesn't need to follow to find me again. As I near the edge of the tree line, the familiar sounds of night gradually return—cicadas start up their sawing, and an owl calls from somewhere deep in the darkness. The world exhales, releasing the breath it had been holding. But something has changed. The night that once offered escape now feels like another kind of trap. And somewhere in the darkness behind me waits a man named Remmick, with eyes that don't blink enough and a voice that speaks of "not yet" like it's already written.

Two day passed but The rooster still don’t holler like he used to. He creaks out a noise ‘round mid-morning now, long after the sun’s already sitting heavy on the tin roof. Maybe the heat got to him. Maybe he’s just tired of callin’ out a world that don’t change. I know the feel. But night comes again, faster than mornin’ these days. Probably cause’ I’m expectin’ more from the night. Frank’s out cold on the mattress, one leg hanging off like it gave up trying. His breath comes in grunts, open-mouthed and ugly. A fly dances lazy across his upper lip, lands, takes off again. I step over his boots; past the broken chair he swore he’d fix last fall. Ain’t nothin’ changed but the dust. Kitchen smells like rusted iron and whatever crawled up into the walls to die. I fill the kettle slow, careful with the water pump handle so it don’t squeal. Ain’t trying to wake a bear before it’s time. My fingers press against the wallpaper, where it peeled back like bark. The spot stays warm. Heat trapped from yesterday. I don’t talk to myself. Don’t say a word. But my thoughts speak his name without asking.

Remmick.

It don’t belong in this house. It don’t belong in my mouth, either. But there it is, curling behind my teeth. I never told a soul about him. Not ‘cause I was scared. Not yet. Just didn’t know how to explain a man who don’t blink enough. Who moves like the ground ain’t quite got a grip on him. Who steps out of the woods like he heard you call, even when you didn’t. A man who hangs ‘round a place with no intention of going in.

I tug the hem of my dress higher to look at the bruise. Purple, with a ring of green creeping in around the edges. I press two fingers to it, just to feel it. A reminder. Frank don’t always hit where people can see. But he don’t always miss, either. I wrap it in cloth, tug the fabric of my dress just right, and move on. I don’t plan to dance tonight. But I’ll sit. Maybe smile. Maybe drink something that don’t taste like survival. Maybe Stack’ll run his mouth and pull a laugh out of me without trying. And maybe, when it’s time to go, I’ll take the long way home. Not because I’m expectin’ anything. But because I want to. The juke joint buzzes before I even see it. The trees carry the sound first—the thump of feet, the thrum of piano spilling through the wood like sap. By the time I reach the clearing, it’s already breathing, already alive. Cornbread’s at the door, arms folded. When I pass, he gives me that look like he sees more than I want him to. “You look lighter tonight,” he says. I give a half-smile. “Probably just ain’t carryin’ any expectations.” He lets out a low laugh, the kind that rolls up from his gut and sits heavy in the room. “Or maybe ‘cause you left somethin’ behind last night.” That makes me pause, just for a beat. But I don’t show it. Just raise my brow like he’s talkin’ nonsense and keep walkin’.

He don’t mean nothin’ by it. But it sticks to me anyway.

Delta Slim’s at the keys, tapping them like they owe him money. The notes bounce off the walls, dusty and full of teeth. No Sammie tonight—Stack said he’s somewhere wrasslin’ a busted guitar into obedience. Pearline’s off in the corner, close to Sammie’s usual seat. She’s leaned in real low to a man I seen from time to time here, voice like honey drippin’ too slow to trust. Her laugh breaks in soft bursts, careful not to wake whatever she’s tryin’ to keep asleep. Stack’s behind the bar, sleeves rolled up, but he ain’t workin.’ Not really. He’s leanin’ on the wood, jaw flexing as he smirks at some girl with freckles down her arms like spilled salt. I find a seat near the back, close enough to the fan to catch a breath of cool, far enough to keep my bruise out of the light.

Inside, the joint don’t just sing—it exhales. Walls groan with sweat and joy, floorboards shimmy under stompin’ feet. The air’s thick with heat, perfume, and fried something that’s long since stopped smellin’ like food. There’s a rhythm to the place—one that don’t care what your name is, just how you move. Smoke’s behind the bar too, back bent over a bottle, jaw set tight like always. But when he sees me, his mouth softens. Not a smile—he don’t give those away easy. Just a nod. Like he sees me, really sees me. “Frank dead yet?” he mutters without looking up. “Not that lucky,” I say, voice dry as dust. He pours without askin.’ Corn punch. Still too sweet. But it sits right on the tongue after a long day of silence.

“You limpin’?” he asks, low, like maybe it’s just for me.

I shake my head. “Just don’t feel like shakin’.” He grunts understanding. “You don’t gotta explain, Y/N. Just glad you showed.” A warmth rolls behind my ribs. I don’t show it. But I feel it.

I don’t dance, but I play. Cards smack against the wood table like drumbeats—sharp, mean, familiar. The men at the table glance up, but none complain when I sit. I win too often for them to pretend they ain’t interested. Stack leans over my shoulder after the second hand. I smell rum and tobacco before he speaks. “You cheat,” he says, eyes twinkling. “You slow,” I fire back, slapping a queen on the pile. He whistles. “You always talk this much when you feelin’ good?” “Don’t flatter yourself.” “Oh, I ain’t. Just sayin,’ looks Like you been kissed by somethin’ holy—or dangerous.” “I’ll let you decide which.” He laughs, pulls up a chair without askin’. His knee brushes mine. He don’t apologize. I don’t move.

I leave before Slim plays his last note. The night wraps itself around me the moment I step out, damp and sweet, the kind of air that clings to your skin like memory. One more laugh from inside rings out sharp before the door shuts and the trees hush it. My feet take the path without me thinking. I don’t look for shadows. Don’t linger. Just want the stillness. The cool hush after heat. The part of night that feels like confession. But halfway down the clearing, I see him again. Not leaning. Not hiding. Just there. Standing like the woods parted just to place him in my way. White shirt. Sleeves rolled. Suspenders loose against dusty pants. Hat in hand like he means to be respectful, like he was taught his mama’s manners. I stop. “You followin’ me?” I ask, but it don’t come out sharp.

His mouth twitches. Not quite a smile. “Didn’t know a man needed a permit to take a walk under the stars.” “You keep walkin’ where I already am.”

He looks down the path, then back at me. “Maybe that means you and I got the same sense of direction.” “Or maybe you been steppin’ where you know I’ll be.” He doesn’t deny it. Just shrugs, eyes steady. I don’t move closer. Don’t move back either.

“You always turn up like this?” I ask. “Like a page I forgot to read?” He chuckles. “No. Just figured you were the kind of story worth rereadin’.” The silence after that ain’t heavy. Just… close. The kind that makes your ears ring with what you ain’t said. “You always this smooth?” I say, voice low. “I been known to stumble,” he replies. “Just not when it counts.” I shift. Let my eyes roam past him, toward the tree line. “Small talk doesn’t suit you.” “I don’t do small.” His eyes meet mine again. “Especially not with you.” It’s too much. It should be too much. But my hands don’t tremble. My breath don’t catch.

Not yet.

“You always walk the same road as a woman leavin’ the juke joint alone?” “I didn’t follow you,” he repeats. “I just happen to be where you are.” He steps forward, slow. I don’t retreat. “You expect me to believe that?” I ask. “No,” he says softly. “But I think you want to.” That lands between us like something too honest. He runs a hand through his hair before putting his hat on. A simple gesture. A human one. Like he’s just another man with nowhere to be and too much time to spend not being there. He watches me, real still—like a man waitin’ to see if I’ll spook or bite. “Figured I might’ve come off wrong last time,” he says finally, voice soft, but it don’t bend easy. “Didn’t mean to.” “You did,” I say, but my arms stay loose at my sides. A flick of something passes over his face. Not shame, not pride—just a small, ghosted look, like he’s used to bein’ misunderstood. “Well,” he says, thumb brushing the brim of his hat, “thought maybe I’d try again. Slower this time.” That pulls at somethin’ behind my ribs, makes the air stretch thinner between us. “You act like this some kinda game.” He shakes his head once. “Not a game. Just…timing. Some things got to take the long way ‘round.” I narrow my eyes at him, trying to make out where he’s hidin’ the trick in all this.

“The way you talk is like running in circles.” He laughs—low and rough at the edges, like it ain’t used to bein’ let out. “I won’t waste time running in circles around a darlin’ like you.” I cross my arms, squinting at the space between his words. “That supposed to charm me?” He shrugs, one shoulder easy like he don’t expect much. “Wouldn’t dream of it,” he says. “Just thought I’d give you something truer than a lie.” His voice ain’t sweet—it’s too honest for that. But it moves like water that knows where it’s goin’. I shift my weight, let the breeze slide between us.

“You ain’t said why you’re here. Not really.” He watches me a long moment, like he’s weighing how much I’ll let in. “Maybe I’m drawn to your energy,” he says finally. I scoff. “My energy? I don’t move too much to emit energy.” That gets him smilin’. Slow. Not too sure of itself, but not shy either. “You don’t have to move,” he says, “to be seen.” The words hit like a drop of cold water between the shoulder blades—sharp, sudden, and too real. I take a step forward just to ground myself, heel pressing into the dirt like I mean it. “You a preacher?” I ask, voice sharper than before. He chuckles, deep and close-lipped. “Ain’t nothin’ holy about me.” “Then don’t talk to me like you got a sermon stitched in your throat.” He bows his head just a hair, hands still at his sides. “Fair enough.”

A pause stretches long enough for the night sounds to creep back in—cicadas winding up, wind sifting through the trees. “I’m Remmick,” he says, like it matters more now. “I know.” “And you?” “You don’t need my name.” His mouth quirks like he wants to press, but he don’t. “You sure about that?” “Yes.” The silence that follows feels cleaner. Like everything’s been set on the table and neither one of us reaching for it. He nods, slow. “Alright. Just thought I’d say hello this time without makin’ the trees nervous.” I don’t smile. Don’t give him more than I want to. But I don’t turn away either. And when he steps back—slow, like he respects the space between us—I let him. This time, I watch him go. Down the path, ‘til the woods decide they’ve had enough of him.

I don’t look back once my hand’s on the porch rail. The key trembles once in the lock before it catches. Inside, it’s the same. Frank dead to the world, laid out like sin forgiven. I pass him without a glance, like I’m the ghost and not him. At the washbasin, I scrub my face until the cold water stings. Peel off the dress slow, like unwrapping something tender. The bruises bloom up my side, but I don’t touch ‘em. I slide into a cotton nightgown soft enough not to fight me. Climb into bed without expecting sleep. Just lie there, staring at the ceiling like maybe tonight it might speak.

But it don’t.

It just creaks. Settles.

And leaves me with that name again. Remmick.

I whisper it once, barely enough sound to stir the dark. Three days pass. The sun’s just fallen, but the air still clings like breath held too long. I’m on the back stoop with my foot sunk in a basin of cool water, ankle puffed up mean from Frank’s latest mood. Shawl drawn close, dress hem hiked above the bruising. The house behind me creaks like it’s thinking about falling apart. Crickets chirp with something to prove. A whip-poor-will calls once, then hushes like it said too much. And then—

“Evenin’.”

My hand jerks, sloshing water up my calf. I don’t scream, but I don’t hide the startle either. He’s by the fence post. Just leanin’. Arms folded over the top like he been there long enough to take root. Hat low, sleeves rolled, collar open at the throat. Shirt clings faint in the heat, pants dusted up from honest walking—or the kind that don’t leave footprints. I say nothing. He tips his head like he’s waiting for permission that won’t come. “Didn’t mean to scare you.” “You always arrive like breath behind a neck.” “I try not to,” he says, quiet. “Don’t always manage it.” That smile he wears—it don’t shine. It settles. Soft. A little sorry. “I wasn’t sure you’d want to see me again,” he says.

“I don’t.”

He nods like he expected that too. I don’t blink. Don’t drop my gaze. “Why you keep comin’ here, Remmick?”

His name tastes different now. Sharper. He blinks once, slow and deliberate. “Didn’t think you remembered it.” “I remember what sticks wrong.” He watches me a beat longer than comfort allows. Then—calm, measured—he says, “Just figured you might not mind the company.” “That ain’t company,” I snap. “That’s trespassin’.” My voice cuts colder than I meant it to, but it don’t feel like a lie. “You know where I live. You know when I’m out here. That ain’t coincidence. That’s intent.” He don’t flinch. “I asked.”

That stops me. “Asked who?”

He lifts his hand, palm out like he ain’t holdin’ anything worth hiding. “Lady outside the feed store. Said you were the one with the porch full of peeled paint and a garden that used to be tended. Said you got a husband who drinks too early and hits too late.” My mouth goes dry.

“You spyin’ on me?” “No,” he says. “I don’t need to spy to see what’s plain.” “And what’s plain to you, exactly?” My tone is flint now. Sparked. “You don’t know a damn thing about me.” He leans in, just enough. “You think that bruise on your ankle don’t show ‘cause your dress covers it? You think folks ain’t noticed how you don’t laugh no more unless you hidin’ it behind a stiff smile?” Silence folds in between us. Thick. Unwelcoming. He doesn’t press. Just keeps looking, like he’s listening for something I ain’t said yet.

“I don’t need savin’,” I murmur. “I didn’t come to save you,” he says, and his voice is different now low, but not slick. Heavy, like a weight he’s carried too far. “I just came to see if you’d talk back. That’s all.” I pull my foot from the water, slow. Wrap it in a rag. Keep my gaze steady. “You show up again unasked,” I say, “I’ll have Frank walk you home.” He chuckles. Real soft. Like he don’t think I’d do it, but he don’t plan to test me either. “I’d deserve it,” he says. Then he tips his hat after putting it back on and steps back into the night. Doesn’t rush. Doesn’t look back. But even after he’s gone, I can feel the place he left behind—like a fingerprint on glass. ——— Inside, Frank’s already mutterin’ in his sleep. The sound of a man who ain’t never done enough to earn rest, but claims it like birthright. I move around him like I ain’t there. Later, in bed, the ceiling don’t offer peace. Just shadows that shift like breath. I lay quiet, hands folded over my stomach, heart beatin’ steady where it shouldn’t. I don’t say his name. But I think it. And it stays.

Mornings don’t change much. Not in this house. Frank’s boots hit the floor before I even open my eyes. He don’t speak—just shuffles around, clearing his throat like it’s my fault it ain’t clear yet. He spits into the sink, loud and wet, then starts lookin’ for somethin’ to curse. Today it’s the biscuits. Yesterday, it was the fact I bought the wrong tobacco. Tomorrow? Could be the way I breathe. I don’t talk back. Just pack his lunch quiet, hands moving like they’ve learned how to vanish. When the door finally slams shut behind him, the silence feels less like peace and more like a pause in the storm. The floor don’t sigh. I do.

He’ll be back by sundown. Drunk by nine. Dead asleep by ten.

And I’ll be somewhere else—at least for a little while. The juke joint’s sweating by the time I get there. Delta Slim’s on keys again, playing like his fingers been dipped in honey and sorrow. Voices ride the walls, thick and rising, the kind that ain’t tryin’ to be pretty—just loud enough to out-sing the pain. Pearline’s got Sammie backed in a corner again, her laugh syrupy and slow. She always did know how to linger in a man’s space like perfume. Cornbread’s hollering near the door, trading jokes for coin. And Annie’s on a stool, head tilted like she’s heard too much and not enough. I don’t dance tonight. Still too tender. So, I post up at the end of the bar with something sharp in my glass. Smoke sees me, gives that chin lift he reserves for bad days and bruised ribs. Stack sidles up before the ice even melts. “Quiet day today,” he asks, cracking a peanut with his teeth. I don’t look at him. Just stir my drink slow. “Talkin’ ain’t always safe.” His brows go up. He glances around like he’s checking for shadows, then leans in a bit. “Frank still being Frank?” I lift one shoulder. Stack don’t push. Just keeps on with his drink, knuckles tapping the bar like a slow metronome.

Then, quiet: “You got somethin’ heavy to let go of.” That stops me. Just a second. But he catches it. “Huh?” He shrugs, doesn’t look at me this time. “You ever seen a rabbit freeze in tall grass? That’s the look. Ears up. Heart runnin’. But it ain’t moved yet.” I run a fingertip down the side of my glass, watching the sweat bead up. “There’s been a man.” Now Stack looks. “He don’t say much. Just… shows up. Walks the same road I’m on, like we both happened there. Then he started talkin’. Knew things he shouldn’t. Last time, he was near my house. Didn’t come in. Just… lingered.” “White?” I nod.

Stack’s whole posture changes—draws tight at the shoulders, jaw working. “You want me to handle it?” I shake my head. “No.” “Y/N—” “No,” I say again, firmer. “I don’t want more fire when the house is already half burnt. He ain’t done nothin.’ Not really.” Yet. He lets it settle. Don’t agree. But he don’t argue either. Behind us, Annie’s refilling her glass. She don’t speak, but her eyes cut over to Mary. Mary catches it. Lips press together. She looks at me the way you look at something you’ve seen before but can’t stop from happening again. And then, like it’s all normal, Mary chirps out, “You hear Pearline bet Sammie he couldn’t outdrink Cornbread?” Annie scoffs. “She just tryin’ to sit on his lap before midnight.” Stack grins but don’t fully let go of his watchful look. The mood shifts easy, like it rehearsed for this. Like they all know how to laugh loud enough to cover a crack in the wall.

But I ain’t laughing.

I nurse my drink, fingers cold and wet around the glass. My eyes flick toward the door, then away. Remmick. That name’s been clingin’ to my mind like smoke in closed curtains. Thick. Quiet. Still there long after the fire’s gone out. I think about how he looked at me—not like a man looks at a woman, but like he’s listening to something inside her. I think about the way his voice wrapped around the air, soft but steady, like it belonged even when it didn’t. I think about how I told Stack I didn’t want to see him again.

And I wonder why I lied.

Frank’s truck wheezes up the road like it’s draggin’ its bones. Brakes cry once. Gravel shifts like it don’t want to hold him. Inside, the pot’s still warm on the stove. Not hot. He hates hot. Says it means I was tryin’ too hard, or not tryin’ enough. With Frank, it don’t matter which—he’ll find the fault either way. The screen door creaks and slams. That sound still startles me, even now. Boots hit wood, heavy and careless. His scent rolls in before he speaks—sweat, sun, grease, and the liquor I know he popped open three miles back. I don’t turn. Just keep spoonin’ grits into the bowl, hand steady. “You hear they cut my hours?” he says. His voice’s wound tight, all string and no tune. “No,” I say. He drops his lunch pail hard on the table. The tin rattles. A sound I hate.

“They kept Carter,” he mutters. “You know why?” I stay quiet. He answers himself anyway. “’Cause Carter got a wife who stays in her place. Don’t get folks talkin’. Don’t strut around like she’s single.” The grit spoon taps the bowl once. Then again. I let it. “You callin’ me loud?” “I’m sayin’ you don’t make it easy. Every damn week, somebody got somethin’ to say. ‘Saw her smilin’. Heard her laughin’. Like you forgot what house you live in.” I press my palm flat to the counter, slow. “Maybe if you kept your hands to yourself, folks’d have less to talk about.” It slips out too fast. But I don’t take it back. The room goes still.

Chair legs scrape. He rises like a storm cloud built slow. “You forget who you’re speakin’ to?” I feel him move before he does. Feel the air shift. “I remember,” I say. My voice don’t rise. Just settles. He comes close—closer than he needs to be. His breath touches the back of my neck before his hand does. The shove ain’t hard. But it’s meant to echo.

“You think I won’t?” I breathe once, deep. “I think you already have.” He stands there, hand still half-raised like he’s weighing what it’d cost him. Like maybe the thrill’s dulled over time. His breath’s ragged. But he backs off. Steps away. Chair squeals across the floor as he drops into it, muttering something I don’t catch. I move quiet to the sink, rinse the spoon. My back still to him. Eyes locked on the faucet. Somewhere behind me, the bowl clinks against the table. He eats in silence. And all I can think about the man who ain’t never set foot in my house but got me leavin’ the porch light on for him. —— Two weeks slip past like smoke through floorboards. Maybe more. I stopped countin’. Time don’t move the same without him in it. The nights stretch longer, duller. No shape to ‘em. Just quiet. At first, that quiet feels like mercy. Like I snuffed out something that could’ve swallowed me whole. I sleep harder. Wake lighter. For a little while. But mercy don’t last. Not when it’s pretending to be peace. Because soon, the quiet stops feeling like rest. And starts feeling like a missing tooth You keep tonguing the space, even when it hurts. At the juke joint, I start to dance again. Not wild, not free—just enough to remember how my body used to move when it wasn’t afraid of being seen. Slim plays slower that night, coaxing soft fire from the keys. The kind of song that settles deep, don’t need to shout to be felt. Pearline leans in, breath warm on my cheek. “You got your hips back,” she says, low and slick. “Don’t call it a comeback,” I grin, though it don’t sit right in my mouth.

Mary laughs when I sit back down, breath hitchin’ from the floor. “Somebody’s been puttin’ sugar in your coffee.” “Maybe I just stirred it myself,” I say. But even as I say it, my eyes go to the door. To the dark. Stack catches the look. He always does. Doesn’t press. Just watches me longer than usual, mouth tight like he wants to say somethin’ and knows he won’t.

Frank’s been… duller. Still drinks. Still stinks. Still mean in that slow, creepin’ way that feels more like rot than fire. But the heat’s gone out of it. Like he’s noticed I ain’t afraid no more and don’t know how to fight a ghost. He don’t yell as loud now. Doesn’t hit as hard. But it ain’t softness. It’s confusion. He don’t like not bein’ feared.

And maybe worse—I don’t like that he don’t try. Some nights, I sit on the back step long after the world’s gone to bed. Shawl loose around my shoulders, feet bare against the grain. The well water in the basin’s gone warm by then. Even the wind feels tired. Crickets rasp. A cicada drones. I listen like I used to—for the shift in the dark. The weight of a gaze. The way the air used to still when he was near. But there’s nothin’. Just me. Just the quiet. I catch myself one night—talkin’ out loud to the trees. “You was real brave when I didn’t want you here,” I say, voice rough from disuse. “Now I’m sittin’ like a fool hopin’ the dark says somethin’ back.”

It don’t.

The leaves stay still. No footfall. No voice. Not even a breeze. Just me. And that ache I can’t name. But he’s there. Further back than before. At the edge of the trees, where the moonlight don’t reach. Where the shadows thicken like syrup.

He doesn’t blink. Doesn’t speak. Doesn’t move. Just waits. Because Remmick ain’t the kind to come knockin’. He waits ‘til the door opens itself. And I don’t know it yet, but mine already has.

The road to town don’t carry much breath after sundown. Shutters drawn, porch lights dimmed, the kind of quiet that feels agreed upon. Most folks long gone to sleep or drunk enough to mistake the stars for halos. The storefronts sit heavy with silence, save for McFadden’s—one crooked bulb humming above the porch, casting shadows that don’t move unless they got to. A dog barks once, far off. Then nothing. I keep my pace even, bag pressed close to my side, shawl wrapped too tight for the heat. Sweat pools along my spine, but I don’t loosen it. A woman wrapped in fabric is less of a story than one without. Frank went to bed with a dry tongue and a bitter mouth. Said he’d wake mean if the bottle stayed empty. Called it my duty—said the word slow, like it should weigh more than me.

So I go.

Buying quiet the only way I know how. The bell above McFadden’s door rings tired when I slip inside. The air smells like dust and vinegar and old rubber soles. The clerk doesn’t look up. Just mutters a greeting and scribbles into a pad like the world don’t exist past his pencil tip. I move quick to the back, fingers brushing the necks of bottles lined up like soldiers who already lost. I grab the one that looks the least like mercy and pay without fuss. His change is greasy. I don’t count it. The bottle’s cold against my hip through the bag, sweat bleeding through cheap paper. I step out onto the porch and down the wooden steps, gravel crunching soft beneath my heels. The lamps flicker every few feet, moths stumbling in circles like they’ve forgotten what drew them here in the first place. The dark folds in tight once I leave the storefront behind. I don’t rush. Not ‘cause I feel safe. Just learned it looks worse when you do. Then—

“You keep odd hours.” His voice don’t cut—it folds. Like it belonged to the dark and just decided to speak. I stop. Not startled. Not calm either. He’s leaned just inside the alley by the post office, one boot pressed to brick, arms loose at his sides. Shirt sleeves rolled to the elbow, suspenders hanging slack. His collar’s open, skin pale in the low light, like he don’t sweat the same as the rest of us. He looks like he fits here. That’s what makes it strange. Ain’t no reason a man like that should belong. But he does. Like he was built from the dirt and just stood up one day. I keep one foot planted on the sidewalk.

“You don’t give up, do you,” I say. He shifts just enough for the light to catch his mouth. Not a smile. Not quite. “You make it hard.” “You looked like you didn’t wanna be spoken to in that store,” he says, voice low and even. “So I waited out here.” The streetlamp hums above us. My grip on the bottle shifts, tighter now. “You could’ve kept walkin’.” “I was hopin’ you might,” he says.

Not hopin’ I’d stop. Not hopin’ I’d talk. Hopin’ I might.

There’s a difference. And I feel it. I glance down at the bottle. The glass slick with sweat. “Frank drinks this when he’s feelin’ good. That’s the only reason I’m out this late.” He doesn’t move. Doesn’t press. “Is that what you want?” he asks after a beat. “Frank in a good mood?” I don’t answer. I just start walking. But his voice follows, smooth as shadow. “I was married once.” I pause. Not outta interest. More like the way a dog pauses before crossing a fence line—aware. “She was kind,” he says. “Too kind. Tried to fix things that weren’t broke. Just wrong.” He says it like it’s already been said a thousand times. Like the taste of it’s worn out. I look back. He hasn’t taken a single step closer. Just stands there, hands tucked in his pockets, jaw set loose like he’s tired of carryin’ that story. “How do you always end up in my path?” I ask. Not curious. Just tired of not sayin’ it. He lifts a shoulder, lazy. “Some people chase fate. Some just stand where it’s bound to pass.”

I snort, soft. “Sounds like somethin’ you read in a cheap novel.”

“Maybe,” he says, eyes flicking toward mine, “but some lies got a little truth buried in ‘em.” The quiet after settles deep. Not awkward. Not empty. Just close. “You shouldn’t be waitin’ on me,” I say, voice rougher now. “Ain’t nothin’ here worth the trouble.” He studies me. Not like a man tryin’ to see a woman. More like he’s lookin’ through fog, tryin’ to remember a place he used to live in. “I’ve had worse things,” he murmurs. “Worse things that never made me feel half as alive.” For a breath, the light catches his eyes. Not wrong. Not glowing. Just sharp. Like flint about to spark. Then he tips his head. “Goodnight, Y/N.” Soft. Like a promise. And just like always, he disappears without hurry. Without sound. Back into the dark like it opened for him. And maybe, just maybe, I hate how much I already expect it to do the same tomorrow.

The next day dawns heavy, the sun a reluctant guest peeking through gray clouds. I find myself trapped in that same tired rhythm, the kind of day that stretches before me like an old road—the kind you know too well to feel any excitement for. Frank’s got work today, though I can’t say I’m sure what he’ll be cursing by sundown.

As I move around the kitchen, pouring coffee and buttering bread, the silence feels thicker than usual. It clings to me, wraps around my thoughts like a vine, and I can’t shake the feeling that something's shifted. Maybe it’s just the weight of waiting for Remmick to show again, or maybe it’s that quiet ache gnawing at my insides—the kind that reminds you what hope felt like even if you’re scared to name it.

Frank shuffles in with those heavy boots of his, barely brushing past me as he grabs a mug without looking my way. He doesn’t say a word about the food or even acknowledge me standing there. Just pours himself another cup with a grimace. “How long’ve you been up?” he mutters, not really asking.

“Early enough,” I reply, holding back the urge to ask if he slept well.

He slams his mug down on the table hard enough for a ripple of coffee to splash over the edge. “What’s wrong with the damn biscuits?” He doesn’t wait for an answer, just shoves one aside before storming out, leaving behind his bitterness hanging in the air like smoke.

I breathe deeply through my nose and keep packing his lunch—tuna salad this time; at least that’s something he won’t moan about too much. Still, every sound feels exaggerated, each scrape against porcelain echoing louder than it ought to.

Outside, I stand at the porch railing for a moment longer than necessary, feeling the sunlight warm my skin but unable to let its brightness seep into my heart. Birds are flitting from one tree branch to another—free from this heavy house—or so it seems.

I want to run after them. Escape to where everything isn’t tainted by liquor and regrets. But instead, I stay rooted in place until Frank’s truck roars down the road like some angry beast.

Once he's gone, I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and pull on my shoes. A decent day to grab some much-needed groceries.

The heat wraps around me as I stroll through town—a gentle reminder that summer still holds sway despite all else changing. I walk through town, grabbing groceries on the way as I enjoy the weather. I run by grace’s store to grab some buttered pickles frank likes. The bell jingled above me as I entered the store, and grace comes from the back carrying an empty glass jar. She paused when she looked at me before smiling. “Hey gurl, haven’t seen ya in here for a while. Frank noticed he ate up all them buttered pickles? That damn animal.” I chuckled at her words as she set the glass jar down on the front counter. Grace moves behind the counter with that same easy rhythm she always has—like her bones already know where everything sits. The store smells like dust and sun-warmed glass, sweet tobacco, and something faintly metallic. Familiar.

“He Still workin’ over at the field?” she asks, pulling a new jar from beneath the counter. “Heard the boss cut hours again. Seems like everyone’s gettin’ squeezed ‘cept the ones doin’ the squeezin’.” “Yeah,” I mutter, glancing toward the shelf lined with dusty cans and glass jars. “He’s been stewin’ about it all week. Like it’s my fault time’s movin’ forward.” Grace snorts, capping the pickle jar and sliding it across the counter. “Girl, if Frank had his way, we’d all be wearin’ aprons and smilin’ through broken teeth.” I pick up the jar, running my fingers absently along the cold glass. “Some days it’s easier to pretend I’m deaf than fight him.” Grace leans forward, voice dropping low like she don’t want the pickles to hear. “You need somewhere to run, you come knock on my back door. Don’t matter what time.” That almost cracks me. Not enough to cry, but enough to blink slow and hold the jar tighter. “I appreciate it,” I say. She doesn’t press, just gives me a knowing nod and starts wrapping the jar in brown paper. “Also grabbed you a couple of those lemon drops you like,” she says with a wink. “Tell Frank the sugar’s for his sour ass.” That gets a real laugh outta me. Just a little one, but it lives in my chest longer than it should. Outside, the air’s heavy again. Thunder maybe, or just the kind of heat that makes everything feel like it’s about to break open. I tuck the paper bag under my arm and make my way down the street slow, dragging my fingers along the iron railings where ivy used to grow. Everything’s changing. And I don’t know if I’m running from it, or toward it. But I walk a little slower past the edge of town. Past the grove of trees that hum low when the wind slips through them. And I wonder—not for the first time—if he’ll be waiting there. And if he ain’t, why I keep hoping he will.

——

I don't light a lamp when I slip out the back door.

The house creaks behind me, drunk with silence and sour breath. Frank's dead asleep like always, belly full of cheap whiskey and whatever anger he couldn't throw at me before sleep took him.

The air outside ain't much cooler, but it's cleaner. Clear. Smells like pine and soil and something just beginning to bloom.

I walk slow. Like I'm just stretching my legs.

Like I'm not wearing the dress with the small blue flowers I ain't touched in over a year.

Like I'm not heading down the narrow path through the tall grass, the one that don't lead nowhere useful unless you're hoping to see someone who don't belong anywhere at all.

The night hums soft. Cicadas. Distant frogs. The kind of stillness that makes you feel like you've stepped into a dream—or out of one.

I settle on the old stump by the split rail, hands folded, back straight, pretending I ain't waiting.

He doesn't keep me waiting long.

"Always sittin’ this straight when relaxin'?"

His voice folds in gentle behind me. Amused. Unbothered.

I don't turn right away. Just glance sideways like I hadn't noticed him there.

"Wasn't expectin' company," I say.

He steps into view, lazy as twilight, hands in his pockets, shirt sleeves rolled and collar loose. Looks like the evening shaped itself just to dress him in it.

"No," he says. "But you brought that perfume out again. Figured that was the invitation."

I shift on the stump, eyes narrowed. "You pay a lotta attention for someone who don't plan on talkin'."

"Only to the things that matter."

He stays a little ways off, respectful of the space I haven't offered but he knows he owns just the same.

"You just out here wanderin' again?" I ask, trying not to sound like I care.

"Nah," he says, grinning a little. "I came out to see if that tree finally bloomed. The one you like to lean on when you think no one's watchin'."

I feel heat crawl up my neck. I smooth my skirt like that'll hide it.

"You always this nosy?"

He shrugs. "Just got good aim."

I shake my head, but I don't tell him to leave. Don't even ask why he's here.

'Cause I know.

And he knows I know.

He moves slow toward me and sits—not close enough to touch, but close enough I can feel it if I lean a little.

We sit in it a while. That hush. That weightless kind of silence that feels full instead of empty.

Then, out of nowhere, he says, "You laugh different at the juke joint than you do anywhere else."

I blink. "What?"

He doesn't look at me. Just watches the dark ahead, like he's reading the night for meaning.

"It's looser," he says. "Like your ribs don't hurt when you do it."

I don't answer. Can't. I ignored the question rising in my head about how he knows what’s goes on in the juke joint when I’ve never seen him in there or heard his name on peoples' lips there.

But somehow, he's right, and I hate that he knows that. Hate more that I like that he noticed.

"You got a way of sayin' too much without sayin' a damn thing," I mutter.

He huffs a laugh. "I'll take that as a compliment."

We go quiet again. But it ain't tense. It's like we're settlin' into something neither one of us has had in too long.

Eventually, I say, "Frank don' like it when I'm gon’ too long."

"You wan’ me to walk you back?" he asks, like it's the easiest offer in the world.

"No," I say, but it comes out too soft. "Not yet."

He nods once. Doesn't press. Just leans back on one elbow, eyes half-lidded like the night's pullin' him under same as me or so I thought.

"You got stories?" I ask.

He raises a brow. "You askin' me to talk?"

"Don't make a big thing outta it."

He grins slow. "Alright then."

And he does. Tells me some nonsense about stealing peaches off a preacher's tree when he was too young to know better, how he and his cousin swore the preacher had the Devil chained under his porch to guard it. His voice wraps around the words easy, like molasses and wind. Whether it was true or not, I don’t seem to care at the moment.

I don't laugh out loud, but my smile finds its way out anyway.

When he glances at me, I see it in his eyes—that same look from the last time. Not hunger. Not charm.

Something gentler. Something like… understanding.

And for the first time, I let it happen.

Let myself enjoy him.

Not as a ghost. Not as a threat.

Just as a man sitting in the dark with me.

——

I've been lookin' forward to the night often these days, not because of him, of course… The night breathes warm against my skin. I'm on the porch, knees drawn up, pickin' absently at blades of grass growin' between the cracked boards like they're trespassin' and don't know it. I pluck them one by one, not really thinkin', not really waitin'—but not exactly doin' anything else either. I'm wearing the baby blue dress, The one with the lace at the collar, mended too many times to count but still hangin' right. I don't light the porch lamp. The dark feels easier to sit in. And then I hear him. Not footsteps. Not a branch snapping. Just… the way quiet shifts when something enters it. He steps from the tree line, slow like he don't want to spook the night. This time, he's carryin' something. A small bundle of wildflowers—purple ironweed, white clover, queen anne's lace—loosely knotted with a bit of twine. He stops at the porch steps and looks at me. Then, without a word, he sets the flowers down between us and lowers himself to sit at the edge of the stoop. Close. Not too close.

"I didn't bring 'em for a reason," he says after a while. "Just passed 'em and thought of you." My fingers drift toward the flowers, not quite touchin' them, but close enough to feel the velvet edge of a petal against my skin. The warmth of his nearness makes my breath catch somewhere between my throat and chest. "They're weeds," I murmur, though the word comes out gentle, almost like a caress. "They're what grows without bein' asked," he replies, and the corner of his mouth lifts in that way that makes my stomach drop like I'm fallin'. That quiet comes back. But it's a different kind now. Softer. Like the world's hushin' itself to hear what we might say next. I look at him then. Really look. Not at his mouth or his clothes ,that easy lean of his shoulders or those pouty eyebrows —but his hands. They're calloused, dirt beneath the nails. Not soft like the rest of him sometimes pretends to be. My fingers twitch with the sudden, foolish urge to trace those rough lines, to learn their map.

"You work?" I ask, the question slippin' out before I can catch it, betrayin' a curiosity I wasn't ready to admit. "I do what needs doin'." The words rumble low in his chest. "That's not an answer." I tilt my head, and the night air kisses the exposed curve of my neck. He turns his head, slow. "That's 'cause you ain't ready for the truth." The words wash over me like Mississippi heat—dangerous, thrillin'. My lips part, but no sound comes out. I go back to pickin' the grass, my fingertips brushin' wildflower stems now instead of weeds. Each touch feels deliberate in a way that makes my pulse flutter at my wrist, at my throat. He doesn't push. Doesn't move. Just sits with me 'til the moon's hangin' heavy over the trees, his presence beside me more intoxicatin' than any whiskey from Smoke's bar. The space between us hums with possibilities—with all the things we ain't sayin'. When he leaves, I don't stop him but my body leans forward like it's got its own will, wantin' to follow the trail of his shadow into the dark. But I take the flowers inside. Put 'em in the jelly jar Frank left on the windowsill.

——

The wildflowers sit in that jelly jar like they belong there—like they’ve always belonged. Their colors are faded but stubborn, standing tall in the quiet corner of the kitchen, drinking in the slant of light that filters through the window. I find myself glancing at them too often, like they might tell me something I don’t already know. I tell myself not to read into it, not to hope. But hope’s a quiet thing, and it’s been whispering to me since I first set foot in this place. By dusk, I’m already outside, wrapped in the blanket I keep tucked in the closet, knees drawn up tight. The dusty brown dress I wear is softer with wear, almost like a second skin. I clutch the two tin cups—corn liquor, waiting in the dark, like a held breath. It’s a ritual I don’t question anymore. He comes out the trees just after the steam from the day’s heat begins to fade, silent as always. No rustle of leaves, no announcement. Just that subtle shift in the hush, like the woods are holding their breath. I see him leaning on the porch post, eyes flickering to the cup beside me, like it’s calling him home. “Always know when to show up,” I say, voice low but steady, trying to sound like I don’t care if he’s late or not. Like I’m used to waiting. He tosses back, smooth as dusk, “Always pour for two?” I can’t help the smile that sneaks up—soft and slow. “Only for good company.” He steps closer, slower tonight, like he’s weighing each movement. Sits beside me, leaving just enough space between us for the night air to stretch its arms. I hold out the second cup, the one I poured just for him.

He wraps his fingers around it but doesn’t lift it. Doesn’t bring it to his lips. “Don’t drink?” I ask, voice gentle but curious, like I might catch a lie if I ask too loud. His thumb taps the rim, slow and deliberate. “Used to,” he says, voice quiet but firm. “Too much, maybe. Doesn’t sit right with me these days.” I nod, like that makes sense. Maybe it does. Maybe I don’t want to look too close at the parts that don’t fit. The parts that hurt, that choke down the hope I’m trying to keep buried. Instead, I take a sip, letting the liquor burn a warm trail down my throat. It’s a small comfort, a fleeting warmth. I watch the dark swallow the road that disappears into nothingness, and I say, “Used to think I’d leave this place. Run off somewhere—Memphis, maybe. Open a little store. Serve pies and good coffee. Wear shoes that click when I walk.”

He hums, low and distant, like a train far away. “What stopped you?” My gaze drops to my hand, to the dull gold band that’s thin and worn. I trace the edge with my thumb, feeling the cold metal. “This,” I say. “And maybe I didn’t think I deserved more.” He doesn’t say sorry. Doesn’t say I do. Just looks at me like he’s already seen the ending, like he’s read the last page and ain’t gonna spoil it.

“I worked an orchard once,” he says softly, voice almost lost in the night. “Peaches big as your fist. Skin like velvet. The kind of place that smells like August even in February.” “Sounds made up,” I murmur, feeling the weight of the quiet between us. He leans in closer, eyes steady. “So do dreams. Don’t mean they ain’t real.” A laugh escapes me—sharp and surprised, like I’ve been caught off guard. I slap at his arm before I can think better of it. “You talk like a man who’s read too many books.” “I talk like a man who listens,” he says, quiet but sure. That hush falls again, but it’s different this time—full, like the moment just before a kiss that never quite happens. I feel it—the space between us thickening, heavy with unspoken words and things I can’t say out loud.

— Days passed, he shows up again, bringing blackberries wrapped in a white cloth, stained deep purple-blue. The scent hits me before I see them—sweet, wild, tempting. “Bribery?” I ask, raising an eyebrow, trying to hide the way my heart quickens. “A peace offering,” he replies, with that quiet smile. “In case the last story bored you.” I reach in without asking, pop a berry into my mouth. Juicy and sharp, bursting with sweetness that makes me forget everything else—forgot the weight of my ring, forgot the man inside my house, forgot the world outside this moment. He watches me, a softness behind his eyes I don’t trust but can’t look away from. I hand him the other cup again. He takes it, polite as always, but doesn’t sip. We settle into stories—nothing big, just small things. The town’s latest gossip, a cow wandering into the churchyard last Sunday, the way summer makes the woods smell like wild mint if you walk far enough in. I tell him things I didn’t know I remembered—about my mama’s hands, about the time I got stung trying to kiss a bumblebee, about the blue ribbon pie I made for the fair when I was fifteen, thinking winning meant freedom. He listens like it matters, like these stories are something he’s been waiting to hear. And for the first time in a long while, I laugh with my whole mouth, not caring who hears or what they think. The sound spills out, unfiltered and free, filling the night with something real. I forget the ring on my finger. Forget the man inside the house. Forget everything but this—the night, the berries, and him. The man who doesn’t drink but still knows how to make me feel full.

——

The jelly jar’s gone cloudy from dust and sunlight, but the wildflowers still stand like they’re stubborn enough to outlast the world. A few petals have fallen on the sill, curled and dry, and I haven’t moved them. Let ’em stay. They feel like proof—proof that life’s still fighting, even when everything else is fading. A week’s passed. Seven nights of quiet—hushed conversations I kept to myself, shoulders pressed close under a sky that don’t judge, don’t say a word. Seven nights where my bruises softened in bloom and bloom again, where Frank came home drunk and left early, angry—always angry. Not once did I go to the juke joint—not because I wasn’t welcome, but because I didn’t want to miss a single echo from the woods, a single step that might carry me out.

Remmick never knocks. Never calls out. He just appears—like something old and patient, shaped out of shadow and moonlight, settling beside me without question. Sometimes he brings nothing, and I wonder if he’s even real. Other nights, it’s blackberries, or a story, or just silence, and I let it fill the space between us. And I do. God, I do. I tell him things I never even told Frank. About how I used to pretend the porch was a stage, singin’ blues into a wooden spoon. How my mama braided my hair so tight it made my scalp sting, said pain was the price of lookin’ kept. How I almost ran—bags packed, bus ticket clenched tight—then sat on the curb ‘til dawn, too scared to move, then crawled back inside like a coward. He never judges. Never interrupts. Just watches me, like I’m music he’s heard a thousand times, trying to memorize the lyrics. Tonight, I don’t wait on the porch.

I’m already walkin’. The night’s thick and heavy, like the land’s holdin’ its breath. I slip through the back gate, shawl loose around my shoulders, dress flutterin’ just above my knees. The clearing’s ahead—the path I’ve grown used to walking. He’s already there. Leaning against a tree, like he belongs to it. His white shirt glows faint under the moon, suspenders hanging loose, like he forgot to do up the buttons. There’s a crease between his brows that smooths when he sees me—like he’s been waitin’ for me to come, even if he don’t say it. “You’re early,” he says, low. “I couldn’t sit still,” I whisper back, voice soft but steady. His eyes trace me—like he’s drawing a map he’s known a thousand times but still finds new roads. I step toward him slow, the grass cool beneath my feet, and when I’m close enough to feel the pull of him, I stop. “I been thinkin’,” I say, real quiet. “Dangerous thing,” he murmurs, lips twitching just enough to make my heart kick.

“I ain’t been to the joint all week,” I continue, voice thick as summer air. “Ain’t danced. Ain’t played. Ain’t needed to.” He waits—patient, silent. Like always. “I’d rather be here,” I whisper, and something inside me cracks open. “With you.” The silence that follows ain’t cold. It’s heavy—warm, even. Like a breath held tight in the chest before a storm breaks loose, like the whole earth hums with what’s coming. “I know,” he says. Just that. Two words that make me feel seen and bare and weightless all at once. I don’t think. I just move. Step into him, hands pressed to the buttons of his shirt. My eyes stay fixed on his mouth, not lookin’ anywhere else. And when he doesn’t pull back—when he leans just enough to meet me—I kiss him. It starts soft. Lips barely grazin’, testing, waiting for something to happen. But then he exhales—like he’s been holdin’ somethin’ in for a century—and the second kiss isn’t soft anymore. It’s heat. It’s need. My fingers clutch his shirt like I’m drownin’, and he’s oxygen. His hands find my waist, firm but gentle, like he’s afraid of breakin’ me even as he pulls me closer. I swear the whole forest leans in to watch, silent and still.

He don’t push. Don’t take more than I give. But what I give? It’s everything.

He don’t say nothin’ when I pull back. Just watches me, tongue slow across his bottom lip, like he’s already tasted me in a dream. “C’mere,” he says low, voice rough as gravel soaked in honey. “You smell sweet as sin.” I step into him again without thinkin’, heart rattlin’ around like it’s tryin’ to climb outta my chest. His palm presses to the back of my neck, warm and heavy, pulling me into a kiss that don’t feel like a kiss. It’s a deal, made in shadows, older than us all—something that’s been waitin’ to happen. The second our mouths meet, he moans deep in his chest—like he’s relieved, like he’s been holdin’ back for years. Then he spins me—fast—hands already under my dress. “Ain’t no point bein’ shy now, baby. Not after all them nights sittin’ close, like you wasn’t drippin’ for me.” My knees almost buckle. He bends me over a log, and I don’t resist. I can’t. My hands grip the bark tight, dress shoved up, panties dragged down with a yank that’s impatient and sure. I hear him spit into his palm. Hear the slick sound of him strokin’ himself once, twice. Then he sinks into me—slow, too slow—like he’s memorizing every inch, every breath I take. My mouth opens, no words, just a gasp that’s all I can manage. “Goddamn,” he mutters behind me. “Look at you takin’ me. Tight like you was built for it.” He starts movin’, deep and filthy, grindin’ into me with purpose. I arch back into it, already lost in the feel of him. And then I see it. His face—just behind my shoulder. His jaw clenched tight. His pupils blown wide—no, glowing. A flicker of red embers in each eye, like fire trapped inside. I blink, and it’s gone. I tell myself it’s the moonlight, the heat, how mushy my brain is from what he’s doin’, like he owns me. He don’t give me a second to think. “Feel that?” he growls. “Feel how your pussy’s huggin’ my cock like she knows me?” I whimper—pathetic, high-pitched—but I can’t stop it. “Remmick—fuck—” He yanks my hair, just enough, til I tilt my head back. “You was waitin’ for this,” he says, voice low and rough. “I seen it. Seen the way you look at me like I’m the last bad thing you’ll ever let hurt you.” Leaning into my neck, lips brushing skin, breath cold now—too cold. “But I ain’t gone hurt you, darlin.’ I’m gone ruin you.” He bites—just a little, not sharp—enough to make me gasp, my whole body tensing on him. He laughs—soft, wicked. “Oh yeah,” he says, rutting harder. “You gone come for me like this. Face in the moss, legs shakin’. All these pretty little sounds spillin’ out your mouth like you need it.” I can barely keep up. Dizziness hits hard, slick runnin’ down my thighs, his cock hittin’ that spot over and over. “Say you’re mine,” he growls, hips slammin’ in so deep I cry out. “I’m yours—fuck—I’m yours, Remmick—” His voice drops—dark, velvet, dirtied—like he’s talkin’ from a place even he don’t fully understand. “Good girl,” he mutters. “Ain’t nobody gone fuck you like me. Ain’t nobody got the hunger I do.” And I feel his hand—big and rough—wrap around my throat from behind, just enough to remind me he’s still in control. Then he starts pumpin’ into me—fast, mean, nasty. My back arches. My moans break into sobs. “You gone give it to me?” he pants, barely human anymore. “Come all over this cock?” I want to answer. I try. But I can’t—my body’s already gone, trembling on the edge of something wild and white and all-consuming. And the second I come—everything breaks loose. He buries himself deep and roars—low and wrong, not a man’s sound at all. I feel him twitch, feel the flood of heat spill inside me, and his face presses into my neck, mouth open like he’s fightin’ the urge to bite down.

But he doesn’t. He just stays there. Still. Breathin’ like he ain’t breathed in years. ——

The morning creeps in slow, afraid to wake me, like it knows I’ve crossed a line I can’t come back from. I roll over, the sheet sticky against my skin, last night’s heat still clingin’. For a second—just a second—I forget where I am. Forget the weight of the house, the stale scent of bourbon and sweat baked into the walls. All I feel is the ghost of him—Remmick—still there in the ache between my thighs, in the buzz that lingers low in my belly. Remembered the way remmick carried me back to my porch and kissed me goodnight before walking away becoming one with the night. My fingers drift without thought, pressing just above my hip where a dull throb pulses. I wince, then pull the blanket back. And there it is. A dark, new bruise—shaped like a handprint—only it ain’t right. Too long. The fingers are too slim, curved strange, like something trying too hard to be human. My breath catches. I press again—harder this time—hoping pain might wash the shape away, or that pressure might flatten whatever’s twisted inside me.

But it doesn’t.

So I pull the blanket up, wrap it tight around me, and lie still, staring at the ceiling—waiting for some sign, some answer, some permission to feel what I shouldn’t. Because the truth is—I should be scared. I should be askin’ questions. Should be second-guessin’ everything last night meant.

But I’m not.

Instead, I replay how he looked at me—how his hands, too warm, too sure, moved like they’d known my body in another life. How he said my name like it was already his. I press my legs together under the sheet, close my eyes, and breathe deep. A girl gets used to silence. Gets used to fear. But nobody warns you how dangerous it is to be wanted that way. Touched like you’re somethin’ rare. Somethin’ sacred. Somethin’ wanted.

And I—I liked it. More than that—I craved it now. Even with the bruises. Even with the shadows twisting in my gut. Even with the memory of those eyes—burnin’ too bright in the dark. Don’t know if it’s love. But it sure as hell felt like it.

——

I move slow through the kitchen that morning, feet bare against cool linoleum. The coffee’s already gone bitter in the pot. Frank’s still in bed, his snores rasping through the cracked door like dull saw blades. I lean against the sink, sip from a chipped mug, and glance out the window. The jelly jar’s still there. Wildflowers wiltin’ now, but proud in their dying. I touch the bruise again through my dress. And I smile. Just a little. Because maybe something ain’t quite right. But for the first time in a long while—I’m happy, or well I thought…

——

The nights kept rollin’ like they belonged to us. Me and Remmick, sittin’ under stars that blinked like they was tryin’ to stay quiet. Sometimes we talked a lot. Sometimes we didn’t too much. But even the silence with him had weight, like it was filled with words we weren’t ready to say yet.

I’d tell him stories from before Frank, when my laughter hadn’t yet learned to flinch. He’d listen with that look he had—chin dipped low, eyes tilted up, mouth soft like he was drinkin’ me in, slow. He never interrupted. Never tried to solve anything. Just sat with it all. That kind of listenin’ can make a woman feel holy.

And I guess I got used to that rhythm. I got too used to it.

Because on the twelfth night, maybe the thirteenth—don’t really matter—he said something that pulled the thread straight from the hem. We were sittin’ close again. My shawl slippin’ off one shoulder, the moonlight makin’ silver out of the bruises on my thigh. He had that look on him again, like he wanted to ask somethin’ he’d already decided to regret. “You know Sammie?” he asked, real casual. Like it was just another name. I blinked. The name hit strange. “Sammie who?” He shrugged like he didn’t know the last name. “That boy. Plays that guitar like it talks back. You said he played with Pearline sometimes.” I sat up straighter.

I never said that.

I’d never mentioned Sammie at all. I swallowed. My smile faded before I could think to save it. “I don’t remember bringin’ up Sammie.” The pause that followed was heavy. And not in the good way. Remmick shifted beside me, slow. His jaw ticked once. “You sure?” I nodded, eyes never leaving him. “I’d remember talkin’ ‘bout Sammie.” He looked out at the trees, the edge of his mouth tight. “Huh.” And just like that, the air changed. It got thinner. Like breath didn’t want to come easy no more. I pulled the shawl closer. Suddenly real aware of the fact that I didn’t know where he slept. Didn’t know if he ever blinked when I wasn’t lookin’. “You alright?” he asked, too quick. “You askin’ me that, or yourself?” He turned to me then—real sharp. Real focused. “Why you gettin’ quiet?”

I didn’t answer. Not right away.

“Just surprised, is all,” I finally said, trying to smooth it over like I hadn’t just tripped on somethin’ sharp in his words. “Didn’t think you knew anybody round here.” “I don’t,” he said, fast. “You’re the only one I talk to.” “Then how you know Sammie plays guitar? I’ve never seen you at the juke joint nor heard word about you from anyone there.” His stare was too still now. Too fixed. Like a dog watchin’ a rabbit it ain’t sure it’s allowed to chase. “Maybe I heard it through the wind,” he said, not responding to the other part. But there was no smile behind it. Just the shadow of a man used to bein’ questioned. A man who didn’t like the feel of it. I stood, brushing grass off my legs. “I should head in.” He stood too, slower. Taller than I remembered. Or maybe the night just made him bigger.

“You mad at me?” he asked, quiet now. “No,” I said. “Just thinkin’. That alright with you?” He nodded. But it didn’t look like agreement. It looked like calculation. I didn’t turn my back on him till I hit the porch. And even then, I felt his eyes stick to my spine like syrup. Inside, I sat by the window, hands still wrapped around the cup I didn’t finish. The wildflowers were dry now. Curlin’ in on themselves. And I thought to myself—real quiet, so it wouldn’t wake the rest of me: How the hell did he know Sammie and what business he wan’ with him?

——— The days slipped back into that gray stretch of sameness after I started avoidin’ him. I filled my hours with chores, with silence, with tryin’ to forget the way Remmick used to sit so still beside me you’d think the night made room for him. But the nights weren’t mine anymore. I stopped goin’ to the porch. Stopped lingerin’ in the dark. The quiet didn’t soothe me—it stalked me. I felt it behind me on the walk home. At the edge of the trees. In the walls. I knew he was there.

Watchin’. Waitin’.

But I didn’t let him in again. Not even with my thoughts. That night, the juke joint buzzed with life. Hot bodies pressed close, laughter thick with drink, music ridin’ high on the air. I hadn’t been back in weeks, but I needed noise. Needed people. Needed not to feel alone. I sipped liquor like it might drown the nerves rattlin’ under my ribs. Played cards with a few men, some women. Slammed down a queen and grinned as I scooped the pot. That’s when Annie approached me.

“Y/N,” she whispered, voice tight. I looked up. “Frank’s here.” The name hit like a slap. I blinked. “What?” “He’s outside. Ask’n for you.” Annie’s face was pale, serious. Not the usual mischief in her eyes—just worry. I rose slow. “He’s never come here before.” Annie just nodded. We moved together, my heart poundin’. Smoke, Stack, and Cornbread were already standin’ at the open door, muscles tense, words clipped and low. When Frank saw me, he smiled. That wide, too-big smile I’d never seen on him. Not even on our wedding day. “Hey baby,” he drawled, too casual. “Wonderin’ when you’d come out here and let me in. These folks actin’ like I done somethin’ wrong.”

My stomach dropped. He never called me baby.

“Frank, why’re you here?” My voice was calm, but confusion lined every word. He laughed—soft, amused. “Can’t a man come see his wife? Thought maybe I’d finally check out what keeps you out so late.” Something was off. Everything was off. “You hate loud music,” I said, heart poundin’. “You said this place was full of nothin’ but whores and heathens.” He looked… wrong. Eyes too glassy. Skin too pale under the porch light. “Can’t we all change?” he said, teeth flashin’. “Now can I come in and enjoy my night like you folks?”

I looked at Smoke. He gave me that look—the one that said “you don’t gotta say yes.” But I opened my mouth anyway. Paused. Frank’s smile dropped just a little. “Y/N,” he said, his voice darker now. Familiar in its danger. “Can I come in or not?” My hand flew up before Stack could step forward. I swallowed hard.

“Come in, Frank.”

The words fell like stones. And just like that, the door to hell opened. The moment he crossed that threshold, the temperature dropped. I swear it did.

He didn’t speak. Didn’t drink. Just sat at the bar, stiff and still, like a wolf wearin’ man’s skin. Annie leaned into Smoke’s shoulder. “Somethin’ ain’t right,” she muttered. Mary nodded, arms folded. “He looks hollow.” Thirty minutes passed. Then Frank stood. Didn’t say a word. Just turned and walked into the crowd like a man on a mission. Headin’ straight for the stage.

Straight for Sammie.

Smoke pushed off the wall, followin’ fast. But before anyone could act, Frank lunged—grabbed a man near the front and tackled him to the floor. Screamin’ erupted as Frank sank his teeth into the man’s neck. Bit down. Tore. Blood sprayed across the floorboards, across people’s shoes. The scream that left my throat didn’t sound like mine. Smoke pulled his pistol and fired. The sound cracked through the joint like lightning. The man jerked, then stilled. Frank’s body fell limp over him, gore soakin’ his shirt. Then suddenly Frank stood back up like he wasn’t just shot in the head, the man he bitten standing up besides him the same eerie smile on both their blood stained mouths.

I stood frozen in place.

People screamed, chairs overturned, glass shattered. Stack wrestled another body that started lurchin’ with glowing -white eyes. Mary grabbed Pearline, draggin’ her through the back exit. Annie grabbed me. “Y/N—we gotta GO!” We burst through the back, runnin’. I took the lead, feet slammin’ down the path I used to walk like a lullaby. Not now. Not anymore. Now it felt like runnin’ through a grave. Behind me, I heard chaos—growls, screams, more gunshots. I looked back once. Bodies jumpin’ on each other, teeth sinkin’ into flesh. All Their eyes— White. Glowing like candle flames in a dead house. Annie was right behind me.

Then she wasn’t.

I turned. They were all gone. Sammie. Pearline. Mary. Annie. Gone.

I kept runnin’. The clearing opened up like a mouth, and I stumbled into it, chest heaving. And that’s when I saw him. Same silhouette. Same calm. But he wasn’t the man I knew. Remmick stood just beyond the tree line, Same shirt. Same pants. But now soaked through with blood. But his face— That smile wasn’t his smile. Those eyes weren’t human. Red. Glowing like coals. Just like I thought I saw that night I gave him everything. I froze. My legs locked. My throat closed up. Remmick tilted his head, playful. Mocking.

“Oh darlin’,” he cooed, stepping forward, arms out like a man offerin’ salvation. “Where you think you runnin’ off to? You’re gonna miss the party.” I stumbled back, tears burnin’ in my eyes. “What are you?” He stepped forward, arms open like he meant to cradle me, like he hadn’t just let blood dry on his chest. “Don’t look at me like that,” he said, like it was me betrayin’ him. “You knew. Somewhere in that smart little head of yours, you knew. The eyes, the voice, the way I don’t come out durin’ daytime—”

“You lied,” I whispered. “Only when I needed too,” he said. I shook my head. “I thought you loved me.” Remmick stopped, cocking his head. Everything soft in him was gone. Only sharp edges now. “You thought it was love?” he asked, teeth glintin’ between blood. “You thought I wanted you?” I flinched.

“All I needed was a way in. You—” he stepped closer, “—were just a door. But you kept it shut. Had to break you open. Took longer than I liked.” “I trusted you,” I said, voice crumblin’. “And you broke so pretty,” he said. “I almost didn’t wanna finish the job. But then you ran. Made it… inconvenient.” He hissed softly, a grin curling up like a scar.

“I didn’t want you, Y/N. I wanted Sammie. That boy’s voice carries somethin’ old in it. Ancient. And that joint?” He gestured back toward the chaos. “It’s sacred ground.” “You used me,” I whispered, tears burnin’ now. “I let you in. I trusted you.”

“You believed me,” he corrected. “And that’s all I ever needed.” My breath caught somewhere between my ribs and spine, all my blood screamin’ for me to run. But I couldn’t move—just stared at Remmick, my chest heavy with grief, with betrayal, with rage. He tilted his head again, eyes burning like iron pulled from a forge. “I didn’t want you,” he said again, voice soft as a lullaby. “I wanted the key. And girl, you were it.”

My throat worked around a sob. My legs, finally rememberin’ they was mine, shifted. I turned to bolt— And stopped.

There they stood.

A wall of them.

Faces I knew too well. Cornbread. Mary. Stack. Even Annie—lips pulled in a wide, wrong smile. Their skin was pale, waxy. Their eyes—oh God, their eyes—glowin’ white like candles lit from the inside. They didn’t speak at first. Just smiled. Stared.

And then—slow and soft—they started to hum. That same song Sammie used to play on slow nights. The one that never had words, just a melody made of aching and memory. But now it had words. And they all sang ‘em. “Sleep, little darlin’, the dark’s gone sweet, The blood runs warm, the circle’s complete, its freedom you seek…”

I backed away, breath shiverin’ in and out of my lungs. The chorus kept swellin’. Their voices overlappin’, mouths stretchin’ too wide, white eyes never blinkin’. Like they weren’t people anymore. Just shells. Just echoes.

I turned back to Remmick— And he was right in front of me. So close I could see the dried blood on his collar, the gleam of teeth too long to belong in any man’s mouth. He lifted his hand—calm, steady. Like he was invitin’ me to dance. “Come on, Y/N,” he whispered, smile almost tender now. “Ain’t you tired of runnin’?” I didn’t know if I was breathin’. Didn’t know if I wanted to be. Everything hurt. Everything I’d carried—love, hope, grief, rage—it all sat in my mouth like copper.

I looked at his hand again. And maybe, for just a moment, I thought about takin’ it. But maybe I didn’t. Maybe I turned and ran straight into the woods. Maybe I screamed. Maybe I smiled. Maybe I never left that clearin’. Maybe I did. Maybe the darkness that took over me, was just my eyes closed wishing to wake from this nightmare.

[falmerbrook]

Theories for What Darien is

Some folks seem content with "vessel of Meridia" as an answer to "what's Darien's deal" but I'm not, and I think at some point we'll get more answers, so here's a collection of some theories+clues I've thought of or seen others suggest in the meantime.

A Demiprince

A Demiprince is "the Daedric offspring of a Daedric Prince or Daedra Lord and a lesser entity such as a mortal". They aren't really a thing this series puts a lot of focus on (and I like that, personally. We have enough focus on daedra already) but having a focus on a major character being one could be a good opportunity to flesh the concept out perhaps. From what we do know, though, the relationship between Prince and Demiprince seems less like that of a literal parent and child and more like the Prince provides some part of themselves or their power/essence/realm to create a new being with part of the essence of a lesser being. When that other entity is a mortal, I suppose that would just be the other parent. Basically under this theory Darien's father (as a reminder, a character we have met and interacted with in-game) was probably a Meridia cultist, or otherwise connected with her and for whatever reason agreed to make and raise Darien. He probably grew up from a child if this is the case.

Meridia wasn't a part of the Coldharbour Compact, but maybe for whatever reason she felt she needed a mortal with loyalty and a connection to her, as well as a sample of her power to do her bidding on Nirn, and thought a Demiprince would be the best way to go about it? Regardless of motivation, I think it would set up a very interesting relationship or dynamic between Darien and Meridia if they ever return if it turns out she's basically his mom.

Evidence:

Darien mentions that he never met his mother when you talk to him on Summerset. It seems like something pretty specific to bring up unless it had some sort of relevance (although the rest of this dialogue is going to be more relevant to later theories)

He also seems to be under the impression that he has always had whatever power/abilities he has related to Meridia in him his whole life (now, how long that life is depends on the theory).

(me too, Darien)

When he mentions that he had dreamed of the assault on Coldharbour and the light of Meridia before, he says that he's been having these dreams since he was young, implying that 1) he had a childhood (that's relevant I swear) and 2) his connection to Meridia and purpose as her Champion has been present since he was young. In his journal you can find in Camlorn, however, he says he's been having dreams predicting the Planemeld "since winter", implying they are a more recent thing. Perhaps his dreams have just gotten more specific or frequent as he got older?

---

Something of otherwise daedric origin that Meridia plops on Nirn when she needs something done

Basically, my thought with this one is that "Darien" has been Meridia's vessel (whatever that entails) for a long time, that she sends down to Nirn/Mundus whenever she wants to more covertly get something taken care of. For an example, in the context of the Planemeld, a certain amount of time before it started (I'm thinking, say, months) he appeared in Camlorn as a full adult, with him and the people around him having false memories of his past. Perhaps his "dad" is in on it, or perhaps he's just a random guy who has now been assigned an adult son by a god. Once he had fulfilled the task she set out for him, in this case helping to thwart Molag Bal, she would bring him back into the Colored Room for the next time she needed him (in this case, the conflict with the Dark Triad). In this case, he isn't a mortal, he just appears as one and is under the impression he is one. Usually, his memory is reset when he returns to the Colored Rooms, but, according to Meridia something changed in his interactions with the Vestige...

This one certainly has it's own holes in how it actually works, but it's a start.

Evidence:

The biggest evidence for this theory comes from the player's conversation with Meridia during the Summerset main quest.

She claims that he only believes himself to be Darien, and that he is really something else. (also she calls him "it") As well, she also says she sends him to Mundus to execute her will, implying this is not only his purpose, but also that she's done this before.

Additionally, she directly says that something about her intended purpose for him has been altered since he met you (and she specifically cites the Vestige as the problem). Perhaps he was meant to forget about his bonds and life from before he was returned to the Colored Rooms, but something about this time made it so he didn't and now he's invested in that past life.

The way he keeps returning to the Colored Rooms when he "dies" (his first time having not been within the protective shield Meridia set up, the second time being when he sacrificed himself to restore Dawnbreaker) is reminiscent of the way daedra are returned and reformed in their home realms when they are killed elsewhere. Daedra aren't actually "killed" when they die, they are instead just returned to the plane of Oblivion they originate from. Perhaps that is what's going on with him.

(source)

Finally, I mentioned earlier that in his journal, he claims he's only been having his dreams of the Planemeld and Meridia for probably a few months at most. Perhaps that's how long he's actually been on Nirn?

We saw earlier that he also mentions that his childhood was a blur. Maybe that's because he didn't actually have one.

---

A(nother) Vestige™

(or just generally, originally a normal Breton dude, turned into something daedric)

So, from my understanding, a vestige (lowercase v) is basically the daedric version of a soul. Daedra do not have souls in the way mortals do. Instead they have vestiges that are basically the essence of a daedra that its form/body is created around. This is a bit different than what The Vestige (uppercase V) is. When mortal souls are sacrificed to Molag Bal, the soul is replaced by a vestige in Coldharbour, turning the mortal into a Soul Shriven who is compelled/forced to serve as a slave in Coldharbour for eternity since they cannot die permanently (similar to daedra). The bodies of Soul Shriven are weak and decay over time, but rarely, such as with The Vestige, some other Aunic (which I think means relating to Mundus) aspect allows them to maintain their former body, while still have the ability to reform after death like a daedra. (all of this is taken from this book, so if I got it wrong let it know)

With that out of the way, this theory is basically that Darien is like The Vestige, but for Meridia instead of Molag Bal. Alternatively (and more simply) it could be that he was originally born a normal mortal, but at some point had some part of Meridia's power/essence imbued in him to become what he is now (the Ambitions had this sorta thing going on for another example of it).

There isn't really any evidence for this theory that makes it more likely than the others. As a matter of fact I think it's weaker than the previous two. However, it would be thematically interesting to have him parallel with The Vestige, and it would make this line A+ foreshadowing:

---

Other random tidbits I found interesting but don't really apply to any one theory

In his final words to the Vestige in the books he leaves us after the Summerset main quest, he rather definitively says that Meridia is responsible for bringing him into existence. So at the very least she has something to do with his existence. This could apply to any of the theories I've already put forward, but mostly the first two.

His powers or whatever essence of Meridia that he has is implied to be finite. He initially seemed to think that he was transferring the rest of what he had into Dawnbreaker when he sacrificed himself at the end of Summerset, but in his final words it seems more like it took away a part of it, and each time he does something like that or "dies" he loses a bit (and that when he loses all of it he will actually die :( )

Nocturnal seems to recognize him as "Meridia's vessel". This is right after he mentions using Dawnbreaker so the Meridia connection is obvious, but the same use of the word "vessel" makes this seem like a thing the other Princes understand or already know about unquestioningly. Maybe it's a Daedric Prince thing, maybe it indicates Meridia has had this "vessel" in whatever form for awhile.

His dad is definitely a guy that exists given Lady Arabelle mentions having worked with him at some point at least 16 years prior to the events of the game. Make of that what you will for however he fits into all this.

Not really related to what his deal is at all, but still a interesting part I forgot about: Darien and Sotha Sil have had a conversation. I very much wish I was a fly on the wall during that. Maybe Sil could recognize more about what was going on with Darien than we could.

[greatwyrmgold]

Very specific thought: I bet Ax's confinement would make a great trigger event.

For reasons listed below, I think a fitting power would be hydrokinesis, limited to drawing a bunch of water around him into the rough shape of an Andalite shark-equivalent, then flying or springing around. (Or maybe a tinker power that he uses to make something like that?)

He would use this power (and the secondary "breathes water" and "resistant to high pressure" powers) to escape the Dome Ship. Hey, have you guys read Megamorphs #4: Back to Before? Does this sound familiar?

So yeah, Ax shows up and tells humanity about the Yeerks. The big difference from Mm4 (aside from Ellimist meddling) is that this Earth learned that superpowers were real a decade or so ago. If Scion is a real-life Superman, why can't Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill be a real-life Silver Surfer?

This probably takes place in early 1998. The Protectorate and PRT have been around for about five years at this point, so unless we fudge the timeline, Rise of Aximili probably wouldn't be a catalyst for a big superhero team forming. But maybe it could be a catalyst for big superhero teams sending their heaviest hitters to work with a new super-superteam?

(Unless this hits some Earth other than Earth Bet, but that's getting a little too convoluted.)

Anyways, Aximili's knowledge of Yeerk tactics and weaponry, plus his familiarity with advanced technology in general (like that time he built an interstellar distress beacon in the woods with a box of Radio Shack parts), would make him an invaluable part of that team, though perhaps not a front-line fighter. (The not-shark trick is cool, but he's no Alexandria.)

The Yeerk/parahuman conflict probably ends with Yeerks threatening orbital bombardment, to which String Theory or Dragon or Scion or someone responds with counter-bombardment. The Yeerks might decide Earth is a lost cause and leave, or continue covert operations, or find some way to bombard Earth from a safe distance out of spite. Hard to say.

Ax's Trigger Event

Being trapped in half a Dome Ship, alone. Separated from his comrades at the bottom of the ocean, unable to leave without drowning.

I'm inclined to say this mixes Master (isolation) with Ride Mover (Ax's isolation being the result of concentric spheres of barriers—the Dome Ship's walls, the ocean, the Yeerk threat, Earth's gravity well). Hence, a power that both creates a "minion" and conveys Ax elsewhere.

Also, the power both forces Ax to hang around large bodies of water if he wants to use it, and covers him in water. He'll never escape the memory of...however long he spends underwater.

I'm being vague about how long Ax is trapped for. It could be long enough to justify a Tinker power, and tinkertech would be less obviously a para-Andalite ability; Ax would just think he had a "eureka" moment, and no one would have all the data needed to question that conclusion.

The main reason I didn't make it a tinker trigger is that I couldn't think of a tinker specialization which made "giant flying water not-shark" a sensible thing for Ax to build.

This is far from the best trigger event I've written, but it works well enough to enable the rest of the fanfic idea.

what if the animorphs were in worm?

(I was initially thinking of this as "what if the andalite-yeerk war took place in a universe with para humans" (the answer is terrible terrible things) but "what would the animorphs' powers/triggers" look like is also an interesting question)

I've never read most of Worm! Anyone who knows Parahumans and Animorphs have any thoughts?

[unholyhelbig]

i beg of you to write more mary x f reader I BEEEGGGGGGGGGGG

Title: Who You Belong To [18+]

Ship: Female!Reader x Mary (Sinners 2025)

Read Part One Here | Main Masterlist

Summary: After Mary turns you, the two of you work on your dynamics as she ushers you through your new life without the sun, and with some odd cravings that bring out Mary's darker side.

Warnings: Blood, biting, cannon-typical violence, pet names (Darling, sweet girl, all the fun southern dialects), fingering (R receiving), oral (R receiving), dom/sub tones, use of good girl, blood drinking, implied death, fire, reader is with a man BREIFLY, jealousy, and horrible grammar I don't proofread!

[A/n: Thank you all so, so, so much for the positive response to the first part. Seriously, I've been in a writing slump for awhile, and Sinners has changed that, let me tell you. Let me know if you want to see more!]

The deadbolt on the front door had been flipped with finality. It’s inner-workings clicking and settling into place was what ended up stirring you. The open sign settling against the front pane of glass as it was turned around stole the last promise of sleep away. Normal, simple actions that should have been nothing more than quiet day-to-day actions were grating. Annoying. Deafening.

The first inhale after death is painful. That’s what they don’t tell you. After decades of your lungs wetly manipulating air automatically, once it’s given a brief reprise, they don’t’ want to cooperate. Not gracefully, at least. The cough that tore through you was dizzying. The way you shot up, unsticking yourself from the green felt on the pool table was painful.

When your fingers first found the wound on your neck, two hollow puncture marks caked over with bullet-sized scars, firm and crusted over from time, you thought it was her hand. Mary’s. It was an instance of memory, a word that your brain supplied. Your fingers were too cold. Too dead to be yours. After all, you had only known warmth from yourself.

She turned from her place at the window, curiously lifting a brow at you trying to collect yourself teetering on the edge of the pool table. Your chest heaved and your eyes were feral. Darker than they had been before she’d ripped into you.

The strawberry pulp of your blood had dried against the curve of her chin, the perfect jut of her collar bone where you’d unbuttoned her shirt. The silk was ruined. Soaked through with you. None of that seemed to bother her. When she walked closer to you, she did so with the confidence of approaching a trained dog.

Her presence, you realized, was needed. Calmed you. Eased the tension in your shoulders and slowed your breathing if just by a second. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I just let a beautiful woman rip out my jugular for a quick fuck.”

“There ain’t nothing quick about forever,” Mary purred. The words felt genuine as they slipped past her lips, smooth like velvet. She looked and acted like a predator, but was soft around the edges.

She reached out a hand, and when you took it, you were met with a warm familiarity. Not more electric coolness. You tightened your fingers around her own in an instinct of learned yearning for closeness. For comfort after a traumatic event. Mary helped you steadily off the pool table on unsteady legs, her other hand planted on your hip.

“Got anywhere to wash up in this place, darlin? A change of clothes?” she nudged your nose with her own, trying to draw your focus gently from the conflicting warning signs in your body. “You’re a vision covered in blood. It’s not comfortable though, is it?”

You breathed out, shook your head tentatively. Your neck was stiff and jaw was aching. There was a subtle burn at the back of your throat that reminded you much of longing. A longing so deep and primal that you were sure nothing would ever settle it.

Wordlessly you walked towards the door that rested just beyond the bar. Past a dingy plastic sink and cans of food that were unopened, dishes that needed to be done, was a stairwell up to your apartment.

It wasn’t anything special; a dingy room with a recliner in the corner, crowded yet cozy. Warm with the confines of the only place you’d lived in the past year. There was a bathroom and a dresser that held the few changes of clothes you owned.

You went through the motions as if you were cleaning yourself of silt that lined the swampy earth you’d played in as child. The blood would wash away much easier. You were fortunate enough to have heated water for the bar downstairs, the luxury extending to the tub.

While the steaming water filled the air with a rusted smell, and the floral soap tickled at your nose, you struggled to work at the button on your pants with clumsy fingers. Mary had been lingering in the doorway, but she stepped into your space then, moved your hands away and took over.

“I can feel how quickly your thoughts are moving.”

“Is that part of this? Being in my head.”

“No, no. Not all the time. But they’re loud right now. Hard to block out. You can ask me questions, babydoll. I know you’ve got em’. No reason to hold your tongue.”

A hum dislodged itself from your throat. She’d pulled your pants down and you used her shoulders to steady yourself as you stepped out of them. Mary’s eyes flashed with an admirative hunger at the sight of you. The full sight of you.

You couldn’t help the arousal that shot through you: Mary on her knees, ill-lit eyes peering up at you as if you were the only thing in the world. Her devotion was confusing, all-encapsulating. She was a terrifying enigma who had taken your life and given you a new, strange one, all in one breath.

She stood, dragging her nails up your sides and dipping her chin to maintain eye-contact. Mary peeled her own shirt off, letting the pile into the corner next to yours, much duller than the pop of color that she provided.

It didn’t startle, nor shock you, when she slid into the tub behind you. It wasn’t a big tub, arms wrapped around you and breasts right up against your back. You sighed into her, were oddly comforted by the way this near stranger scrubbed the blood from the slope of your neck.

“Why me?” You rasped.

Mary was silent for a moment. A long moment that was filled by the shift of the water and the way she dragged the pads of her fingers over your knuckles to move the red pigment away. The lavender that swirled around the both of you was nothing but soothing.

“You seemed lost.” She answered, dragging her hands over your arms to curve the cold. “Not in the way of wanderin’ but in the way of not knowing how to start. And I’ve been there. Trapped within the purgatory of wishing there was something more.”

You shifted, turned ever so slightly and looked at her, the tenderness in her eyes. “What changed?”

“A night in a juke joint in the Mississippi Delta, that’s what changed.” She chuckled dryly, as if it was an inside joke. “Things are put into perspective real quick. You learn that all the big things that seem big sometimes aren’t. Sometimes the small things are what counts. And sometimes… it’s okay to be selfish.”

“Selfish, huh?”

“Well, you’re bewitching and I’m weak.” Mary chuckled. You could feel the movement rush through her. “So, what if I’m selfish. I’ll never see the sun again, I’ll take the closest thing that I can get.” Her head dropped to your shoulder, almost out of guilt. “No family. No one to come looking for you.”

“Mm, fuck. I should have trusted Albuquerque.”

“Babygirl, no one should trust Albuquerque. The city or the person.”

You snorted at that, shaking your head. She’d shifted so her chin was resting in the small of your shoulder, tantalizingly close to where she’d bitten you hours before. “Mm, you just wanted a pet.”

“And what’s so wrong with that?” Mary nipped lightly at your shoulder, soothed it quickly with her tongue. “I take good care of my things, darlin”

It had become apparent over the following year that you’d spent with Mary, that she did take very good care of her things. Though, she was possessive of them. Keeping a firm hand against the small of your back at all times. An arm around your shoulders or your midsection to keep you in her lap.

“Oh, now, come on” Stack led the angry red end of the cigarette to his lips, inhaling deeply. “I think that’s just criminal. Damn fuckin’ criminal. They should have you locked up.”

You snorted, digging into your pocket for your own rolled cigarette. Stack matched your move pound for pound, watching as you closed the end of your teeth around the tip. He leaned close to you, enveloping you in the scent of clove and the deep spice of his cologne. He used the lit edge to ignite your own cigarette.

“Stack, you best back away from my girl if you want to keep all ten of your fingers.”

“Come on now, Mary!” He shot back with a strike of quickness and a roll of his eyes regardless. “I didn’t mean a thing by it. You better school her about her taste in music, I’ll tell you that much. Your girl or not, she needs helpin’ along in the blues department.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, but didn’t make good on her threat. She handed off a bottle of liquor to Stack before depositing another paper-wrapped one into your hands. The three of you occupied a picnic table under a streetlamp, far away enough from the public to stay conspicuous.

“You do have horrible taste in music, baby.”

“That’s what I’m saying.” Stack defended.

“Yeah, well. Didn’t have to say it so close to her face, did you?”

Stack growled at her. Nothing threatening or primal, something you’d learned was easy to do if you put enough air behind it. You were used to them bickering like this. Like siblings. Like people who loved one another deeply at one point, and had realized that it wasn’t love necessarily like that. Like beings who owed it to one another to try, and had valiantly.

Right now, you were her passion project and you’d accept her attention for as long as she’d give it. Be it days, weeks, or years. It was diligent, and it filled you with the kind of warmth you were missing your entire life.

You hadn’t truly lived until you died, and Mary was guiding you.

“I knew you were jealous when you took a train from Chicago to chew me out on a platform.”

“Wasn’t jealous then,” Mary snapped back, slipping her hand around your waist. “You fucked me halfway to Tuesday and left by the next. That’s called anger, Stack.”

“Same thing.” He shrugged, waved her off as if you hadn’t heard them have this same argument ten times over.

The spiced tobacco curled around your lungs with a warmth similar to the kind that Mary sparked against your skin. She dragged her nose across your cheek, breathing in, watching you devilishly as you flicked the white ash from the end before closing your lips back around the cigarette. You knew damn well what you were doing, watching her swallow the excess saliva in her mouth.

The smash of hard-rimmed glass drew your attention to the bar that quite resembled the one you’d burnt down months before. It tugged at a dull ache in your chest and culminated behind your jaw, much like the first time you’d dug your teeth into something truly alive, with a pulse. The first time you’d felt that zeal drain away at your volition.

A liquor store with a welcome sign at it’s edge was attached to the actual establishment. Hence why you camped out here. Alcohol still went down smoothly and with a softness unrivaled, but there was always easy prey here. Those who got too inebriated, putty in your hands.

“It’s going to feel strange for a bit, Babygirl.”

 Mary had told you as the two of you sat in the dull darkness of an apartment she commandeered from a foreclosure. It was above a bookstore, one that buzzed pleasantly during the day and cushioned out the rest of the world along with the layers of newspaper and cardboard she’d plastered the windows with to keep sun out.  

Her head was in your lap, body sprawled over the cotton sheets of the bed. Your body ached with a familiar niceness, fingers carding through Mary’s hair, occasionally tracing over her features. So delicate and breath-taking.

It wasn’t like you hadn’t done as she instructed. She didn’t’ need to guide you much, Mary essentially ripped the seal on the person she’d cornered and then the sharp, tantalizing scent of blood made the vicious burn in your throat worsen until you were latched onto whatever skin was exposed to you.

“Do you have a… preference?”

She chuckled and it was warm, peering up at you with eyes that were more blue than black. “No such thing. You’ll find that some circumstances work better than others. When people are alone. When they’re angry. Reckless.”

“Vulnerable.”

“It does make it easier, yes.” She resituated herself until she was sitting across from you, your knees touching and her hair falling elegantly over her shoulders. You almost whined at the loss of contact, but swallowed it down when she grasped your hands in her own. “Killing is not something I enjoy, but it’s necessary.”

“You’re going to make me do it on my own, aren’t you?” You scoffed dejectedly.

“Mm, there’s a learning curve.”

Mary could see the worry behind your eyes. Silenced it by leaning forward and pushing her lips against your own in the most delicate version of a kiss she had to offer. It sent chills down your spine, electrifying your skin where it met her own.

“I’ll be with you every step of the way,” She growled so deeply you could feel it in your own chest as it pressed against yours. “Just let your instincts take over, angel. They’ll do the rest.”

They did so diligently now. You didn’t think twice before digging the pointed edges of your teeth into whatever salted skin you could bring yourself close to. When the hunger burned, it burned deeper than anything you’d ever felt before. Something Mary promised would wear off eventually, and she hadn’t steered you wrong yet.

Often times, your mind would zero in on people like they were playthings first and humans second. The man who had thrown his bottle into the nearest wall and bellowed out drunkenly was an easy catch. Though he was twice your size by the looks of it. Mary gave your arm a squeeze, drawing your attention back to herself and Stack.

“Don’t think that’s your speed yet, darlin”

“Oh, come on, Mary!” Stack took a long pull of his drink, holding the bottle by the neck and letting the foam froth down his bearded chin. “Don’t coddle her. Y/n has been in a fair share of bar fights and that’s before you ripped her throat out on a pool table, which I’m devastated you torched by the way. She can handle herself. Can’t ya?”

“Sure can.”

Stack laughed with his belly and clapped a hand on your shoulder giving you a playful nudge. You couldn’t help but laugh with him, something that had a nervous edge to it, even as you glanced back at the man who was swaying on his feet and grasping at another amber bottle of beer himself. He talked louder than the rest, crueler about his women.

“Oh, I believe you sweetie, I do.” Mary’s accent came out thicker when she in fact, didn’t believe you, and was getting anxious about the turn of events. “Just, with men like that…”

“With men like that, the trick is to flirt.”

Stack wiggled his eyebrows and earned a hearty hit to the shoulder, nearly destabilizing him on the edge of the picnic table. Mary’s fingers had moved from your arm to trail against the base of your spine. The darkness of the night shielding you from thinly veiled judgement.

With a rumbled snarl, her lips pressed against your temple, she conceded. “Fine, fine. Take your shot.”

“Don’t think I can do it?”

Mary clenched and unclenched her jaw, plucking the cigarette from your lips and placing it between her own. The glowing end buzzing angrily in an orange sunset of color. There was a glossy look to her eyes that was unreadable, but she settled herself onto the tabletop next to Stack, gesturing vaguely.

That sparked something determined in your chest as you shoved your own drink into her hands and straightened out your clothes. Mary’s clothes, really. You had packed what you wanted into a burlap duffel bag before tossing the match into the heart of your families bar. You wore duller colors, items that weren’t made of silk but cotton. Things that were worn in well.

They interchanged with Mary’s now. Most of your wardrobe was a rotating door, much too soiled with your hasty meals. You were glad that you chose today to wear one of her finger pieces. A black silk blouse that cut low and exposed skin to your advantage in the southern heat.

You pushed your chest out purposely, watched Mary’s eyes narrow and darken to the point of primal hunger. You turned on your heel and walked towards the group of men that were roughhousing in front of the bar.

Their conversations and bubbling laughter started to drain away as you stalked closer with a confidence unmatched. The largest man, one who looked more attractive up close, with a chiseled jaw and an easy smile on his face, let out a low whistle.

“Hi pretty lady, you alone out here?”

The boys around him hooped and hollered, sizing you up like you were a prize. You’d seen men like this. Known men like this. Even before Mary had sunk her teeth into your throat, you held a certain level of anger towards their indifference as they occupied spots at your bar.

You gave him your sweetest smile “I was just traveling and gosh, the heat in these parts. I thought it cooled off once the sun went down.”

“A northern little thing, aren’t you?” He put his foot up on the seat of the picnic table, leaning forward. “I could offer you a drink, but it won’t do much. There’s a swimming hole right round’ back. Some privacy. That’ll cool you off real quick.”

“Why not both?”

“Woo!” a skinny man with slicked back black hair clapped his calloused hands “I like this woman, Tommy.”

He did too. You could see it in his eyes. You lifted your brow at him in question, an invitation, really. And he fell right into it when he handed you his newly opened beer. It was cold, which was nice as you wrapped your lips around the lip and took deliberately slow swallows.

You let out a slow, tantalizing sigh, leaning over the picnic table that separated you and Tommy. He smelled sickeningly like sweat and cinnamon candy. “That hit the spot.” You lowered your voice to a simmering growl. “Why don’t we go to that lake so you can find mine?”

It was filthy enough to render him speechless, so when you offered your hand, he took it without hesitance. It was damp in your own, almost slimy. But You could hear the way that his heartrate picked up to a deafening pace.

You could feel the hunger building deep within your stomach. That horrid, wanting, primal need that drove you to do exactly what you were doing now. The triumphant and lude murmurs from Tommy’s friends were nothing short of deplorable but they were soon swallowed by the cacophony of sound the forest around you created.

There was a dirt trail that led from the bar to the water. Tommy had pulled you to the edge of the water, snagging you by the waist after he’d peeled his shirt away and tossed it at the base of a tree. His chest was slick with sweat, your hand splaying against the brawn of it.

“I thought we were going to cool off.” You purred.

“Right after things heat up a little.”

Tommy pressed his lips to yours, and you kissed back, tasting the alcohol and the smoke on his breath. He squeezed your hip and tried to drag you closer to him. He was sloppy and unkempt and not nearly as gentle with his movements as Mary. The stubble on his face scratched at your skin, but none of that seemed to matter because soon the only thing you could hear was the rapid beating of his heart. All the blood that pulsed through his body.

Your hand moved to the belt of his pants, fooling with the belt slowly, but not making any real effort to undo it. Instead, your lips found his throat. You nipped at it softly, breaking skin and drawing a hiss from him.

“Ha, you’re a little feisty thing aren’t you.”

You hummed in response, dragging your tongue over the pinprick of blood that started to weep from the small wounds.

“What if you put that mouth to better use?”

Alright. That was quite enough. He was getting too cocky, and while the fun of the chase was half the battle, you could feel the saliva fill your mouth like hot honey. There was a hot pressure in your chest and throat and behind your eyes, surely a milky black by now.

So, you bit down. His grunt was garbled within a second, the tinny, polished taste coating your tongue. You gulped down the heat that filled your mouth, hearing the choked gasps coming from Tommy did nothing to deter you. He started to claw at your back. Opening and closing his mouth with wet noises.

Blood dripped down your chin, slicked across your chest and dampened your fingers as you wretched his chin further to the side to give you better access to your meal. You figured you’d never been this starved before, and never would be again until your next encounter.

Tommy went limp against you, his breath shallow and then nothing. A delicate arm was wrapped around your waist, pulling you from your haze. Forcing you to unlatch your teeth from sticky tendons and salted skin.

“I think you’ve proven your point.” Mary looked down with unfathomable disgust at the dead man.

You pressed your spine against the opposite tree, dragging your arm across your face to smear away some of the pulpy blood before it dried in the nighttime breeze. One of Mary’s sculpted brows lifted as she crossed her arms over her chest, darting her calculated stare between you and what was left of Tommy.

At this point, it was easy to tell when Mary was displeased. She got a crinkle between her brows and a downturn to her lip. And boy was she pissed at you right now. She took a step closer to you, glowered down with darkened eyes illuminated by the moon.

“I don’t like the way he touched you.”

“I was touching him.”

“I don’t like that either.”

Mary clenched her jaw and snarled deep in her throat, bringing her lips so close to yours that you could feel the warmth of her breath but wouldn’t dare surge forward to connect them. Not with the envy pulsing through her like a heartbeat.

“I wish you weren’t so stubborn.” Mary placed her knee between both of yours, ground it into your center until you were to swallow a moan.

You frowned in confusion, tried to lean forward and connect your lips but she moved back, just out of reach.

“I’m not stubborn.”

“Darlin’ you are. You are, and you know how I know that? Because anyone else would have been on their knees begging for my forgiveness, devouring me until the sun rose and threatened to destroy us both. But instead, you’re struggling with the buckle of another mans belt.”

You lilted your head to the side, watched her carefully. She’d guided you through meals before, and it had never been like this. This was the first time you’d exercised your ability to seduce in order to get what you wanted, and it was getting under her skin. It gave you an unexpected thrill. One that pulsed straight to your core.

Her voice was a velvet whisper. “I need you to know who you belong to.”

Oh, you knew. It was hard to deny when she was trailing her trailing her hot mouth along your jaw and then your throat. Her teeth sharp, biting and hot as she soothed it with her tongue moments later. You clawed at Mary’s shoulders, trying to pull her closer.

“I know,” You whined out, sounding much too desperate “I know, Mary, promise.”

“I’m not convinced, you were all over him. Your tongue was practically down his throat.”

She was licking away at the blood you had spilled, ripping at the fabric of her own shirt before focusing on the drips that had sloped down your breasts. A gasp escaped you, head thrown back against the tree.

You whimpered, hands coming up to her hair “I was just doing what you taught me.”

“So needy,” She tuts, “I just don’t know if you deserve my mouth when all you seem to do is run yours against a mans.”

Mary’s fingers move past your waistband and dip into you. “A little jealousy and you’re already this soaked for me?”

She pulls away and earns another noise from the back of your throat before presenting her fingers. They’re wet with your arousal and you’re suddenly flushed with embarrassment. Both of her eyebrows lifted and you knew exactly what she wanted.

“I know how loud you like to get. Suck.”

Without a second thought, you opened your mouth and did as you were told, humming around her. You could taste your own slick, the salt on her skin. She relished in the way you gagged when she pushed deeper into your mouth, an attractive glint in her eyes. “That’s a good girl. So obedient. So you can follow social cues?”

Soon she pulled her hand away, dragging it down her front as she dropped to her knees and dragged your pants down to your ankles. You dutifully stepped out of them when she tapped your ankle, knowing the drill.

Mary lifted one of your legs over her shoulder. Her breath was hot against your thigh, so close to where you needed her most but not quite touching. She bit and nipped at the soft skin there sending shivers down your spine.

“Mm, he’d never get to touch you here.” She breathed against you “no one but me ever will.”

“No, no one but you.”

“So fucking pretty like this. At my mercy.” Mary licked a stripe across your pussy, earning a guttural moan from you that moved through the simplicity of the forest. Again, her tongue dipped in and you found purchase and balance by resting your hands on her shoulders, panting hard, growling harder. “All mine.”

She shifted her attention to your clit, sucking it the way she would enjoy a meal, much gentler than you, with more practice. “M-Mary, please. Fuck. Please.”

“What was that, angel? Couldn’t hear you over all that desperate whining.”

At this, you whined harder, hoping it would appeal to her softer side. “Please, Mar, I need to come.”

She hummed against you and the vibration of the noise only brought you closer to the edge. But then she showed mercy on you and slipped the fingers you’d had in your mouth into you. The gasp that you would have produced got lodged in your throat.

“Good God, Darlin, you are close.” She started to pump into you, returning her ministrations to your bud. “Go ahead, come on my fingers.”

You let out a breath of relief in between the small whimpers she was pulling from you. But her movements stopped as quickly as they started, dark rimmed eyes peering up at you. “Ah-ah only if you know exactly who owns this pussy.”

She felt you tighten around her fingers, sneered at the feeling of ecstasy that shot to her own core. It made her throat dry. Seeing you come undone under herself like this. She didn’t know how much longer she could edge you like this without coming apart herself.

“You do,” You moaned “you, you, you. Only you, Mary. Please.”

“Well, when you put it like that.”

She returned to her ministrations and it didn’t take much to send you over the edge entirely. You felt yourself tense around Mary, breath panting and sweat coating your skin. Bliss exploded through you, fingers digging into her shoulders. You ground your teeth together to keep your noises of pleasure at bay, legs shaking, Mary coached you through your orgasm.

The woman that she was, pulled your pants back up and buttoned the fabric easily. She kissed your mouth, panting herself. “I might have a little problem with jealousy.”

“Little?”

“Medium sized.” She steadied you once more “You okay, angel?”

“Never better. You’re sexy when you’re pissed.”

“Yeah, well. Don’t make a habit of bringing it out in me.”

Mary smiled something shy then, reaching and plucking a leaf from your hair before flicking it to the side. Her breath was warm as it mingled with your own. Her scent clean and crisp despite the energy the both of you had just exerted under the pale moon.

You frowned, “You haven’t eaten tonight. Are you hungry?”

“I’ve eaten, Babygirl, don’t you worry.” She giggled, infectious. Beautiful and captivating.

The sun was due to come up in an hour, and Stack had wandered in search of his own meal. You were sticky with blood and the taste of yourself. Mary had a softer smile than before, one of admiration and affection. She took a small step back and held her hand out to you, a delicate gesture.

“Lets get you cleaned up. You’re a mess.”

“That’s not my fault.” You laughed, voice husky.

“Stubborn. Nothing but stubborn. You’re lucky you’re beautiful.”

[ekjohnston]

The Book Club Conundrum

One thing really love about reading fanfic for videogames (Veilguard in particular), is seeing all the other in-game mini-story options that wouldn't have occurred to me in a million years. In Veilguard, for example, there is a large component of the fandom that writes Rook as isolated within the team, someone who is always helping but never gets helped in return. It's fascinating because you can do a lot with it, and also because it never would have crossed my mind otherwise.

I have started to call it The Book Club Conundrum, because you twice find book club notes in the Lighthouse where everyone gives their thoughts on a book they've read together. Rook does not give them, which I assumed meant we were supposed to fill that part in ourself (since Rook is the self-insert character, the game writers try to leave as many of their opinions open as possible), but it's very common in fic to read that Rook wasn't invited, and holds at least a bit of resentment for that, and for the way the team bonds around them in general.

As I said: a lot of mileage, which is great for fanfic, because conflict has to come from somewhere.

HOWEVER

Since I imagined Rook at the book club meetings and adding their thoughts, I did it with other examples of team bonding as well. This is particularly important to the "always helping, never helped" component of the argument, because: the team does try. They try so hard.

Most of them take you to a funeral/memorial at some point (Lucanis does it in a Blighted Treviso; if Minrathous is Bighted, you get it twice: once from Neve and once from The Viper. Davrin takes you out to play with a griffon, over and over, which is just as therapeutic). They take you through their grieving process, for new pains and old. They share their traditions. Their grief. Their anger. They wait for Rook to break.

And they never do.

Solas does a lot of heinous things, on all manner of scale, but something I find EXTREMELY fascinating is that he almost fucked up Rook's relationship with their entire team. Rook's seeming denial of their grief is the one thing that no one can break through. It makes them seem cold and a bit uncaring, like they're willing to push through almost everything to get the job done. And of course they are! Willing, I mean. It's a very Dread Wolf sort of lie: just enough truth to destroy everything.

(If you save "Words of Fire" as long as possible, Taash finally just yelling at you is SUPER affecting, lmty.)

In fanfic, I've seen everything from "it's weird that Rook is talking to an empty room again" to "Rook is grieving in their own way" to "Rook hears a weird humming noise every time they think too much about Varric, but can't do anything about it". Sometimes Rook yells at the team for not noticing (Neve notices IMMEDIATELY, fwiw, the same as Solas tells you immediately what he's done. You just keep going anyway), and sometimes the resolution is more quiet.

It's fascinating to me, both as a writer and a reader/player, that the same common start point (Solas being a manipulative jackass "for the greater good"), can have so many divergent paths. It's not just "Rook ignores the team and they all die" or "Rook moves heaven and earth for her team and they all live". There's a lot of space in that second one, and fanfic lets us wallow in what the game sets up.

Veilguard is a game of mirrors, obviously, but it's also a game where all of your companions could have been the protagonist, except all of the good guys are DESPERATELY trying not to be the main character. The villains are all like that too (especially Johanna, who is barely aware the risen gods are there), only they WANT to be the main characters. And that's usually what leads to their downfall.

Varric wrote pulp fiction. The kind reviews denigrate as trashy while millions of people have fun reading them. He wants a main character, a hero he can pin a tragedy on. He made one, and propped up another. Rook was going to be his third, and Solas (accidentally) almost made sure it happened. But Rook gets free of that, wins themself out by sheer friendship and the willingness to move forwards.

And no matter what kind of angst you want to put into your fanfic (and please, continue to do so; I am having fun!) that is pretty great.

[66sharkteeth]

Weekly thoughts ep 217-

I forgot to do these last week! But you know I HAD to talk about this week's episode. I know a ton of y'all are behind and this is a spoiler but if this doesn't motivate you to hurry up and catch up, idk what will.

Jericlaude canon! Kinda lol. For like 30 seconds. Relieved most of the creeps seem to be gone by now so nobody was too viscerally angry about two guys kissing on a webtoon like they were about LGBT stuff in earlier episodes. That's the kind of audience I don't mind losing lol.

Anyway, yeah, I've been waiting to draw this one for a while, tho probably not as long as one might think. I definitely only decided to give them a big kiss scene recently, as tbh Jericho returning Claude's feelings is a newer development as well. I think I've talked about it a little, but Jericho was never originally supposed to return Claude's feelings. But as his character developed, I thought it made great conflict for him and his scion- something that I see a lot of people noticed.

I did hate breaking the 180 rule so blatantly this episode, but it was so important that these panels focus on Jericho's human side. And I think breaking it so blatantly made that clear to a lot of people, because a lot seemed to pick up on it. One of those things where sometimes the curtains really are just blue, but in this case, it was a very intentional choice. Things as well like his blank hand not embracing Claude, and it only touching him when starting to fall back into the scion's mindset and turning into a claw.

I also absolutely didn't originally plan on having Bell in this scene, but plot kinda made it unavoidable so I'm glad everyone liked that one little awkward panel of her lol.

There was a lot of thought put into this episode, and it's definitely one of my favorites, so I'm glad people enjoyed it. I've said this before, but watching Claude go from hands down the most hated character, to one of the most popular has been one of the highlights of writing this story for me. His character development has been some of my favorite to write and I feel like it all culminated in this episode.

Next week is a bit of a mid-season finale! I wasn't originally planning on pausing there, but after that, we're entering kind of the end game arc of CoB! So I really wanted to take some time to hammer out the rest of the story and give it a proper ending.

[faejilly]

no helping or apologies needed! I love when people have too many words, it helps me remember more of mine 😅

I think the main thing I get from a lot of what you replied with, and my half-thoughts, and your excellent Unspeakable Backstory is that there is a lot of Not Cozy going on in the background of SDV, and that's probably a lot of why it has stuck around as successfully as it has for almost ten years.

Like. There's a war on in the background, and Kent has been gone for three years which is uh, not a typical deployment when there are viable long-distance travel options in modern times, which SDV clearly is, despite the lack of internet infrastructure. (Like you, it does feel very 00s to me, which would track, as that's probably about when he started working on it?) Which means this is a resource heavy, deeply difficult political/military/economic situation, even if we never really get the details of the conflict in game.

(Even the trader backs that up, she's basically a smuggler and is one of the few reliable sources of commerce? That's not entirely common from the perspective of the modern audience either, not ones in stable economies anyway.)

SDV and Pelican Town are clearly incredibly economically depressed, the population is not particularly viable, (even if we assume there are more people there, they're just not the people you make friends with, hand-wave-video-game-mechanics-etc, it's still clearly not the healthiest most active community), the Mayor has been running unopposed for 20 years and has absolutely no money for anything, the mayor's office is just his house, there's literally no actual formal school for school-aged children, the community center is defunct, the former librarian stripped the library/museum and no one could do anything about it, the bus which really ought to ALSO be funded by Calico Desert and/or whatever the area the Governor covers is dead and no one can do anything about that either, though there's at least a bus to Zuzu City that's reasonably consistent, judging both by your arrival and some of the later heart events across town, etc. etc. etc.

Like. This place is a mess, and there's a headcanon I've seen more than once that part of why you as the farmer make such a huge difference is that there are grants available (agricultural bonus stuff in game, for example) specifically for you as a farmer with a new farm, and that has been the only thing bringing money into town besides Joja for quite possibly decades.

PLUS there's the fact that while magic is very clearly a thing, it is also a thing most people seem only nominally aware of at best, which means it used to be less obvious, presumably because there used to be more of what we'd recognize as modern structure/industry around that did stuff instead.

Which is I guess just a really long-winded way of saying I think your Unspeakable Backstory fits in perfectly.

I mean. Robin's line is what, that her parents were upset that she went into carpentry? Bewildered? I can't remember the specific word, but it was a case of they were so old-fashioned it upset or confused them, but while carpentry is perhaps a stereotypically male occupation, it's also a very traditional occupation so that is, uh. Obliquely kind of disturbing when she says it, since carpentry being weird for your daughter seems a bit more than just old-fashioned imo.

anyways

I had a conclusion I was trying to get to when I started this but I no longer remember what it was.

largely because I literally just saw an email from a local arboretum about a class that they recently added called "Tree Time: Frogs" and it successfully derailed my brain into giggling at their timing.

So I guess that's how I'm ending this.

Please find a way to enjoy your local frogs, for Sebastian's sake?

@sarasa-cat replied to your [post]:

Ever since I played SDV for the first time just a little over a year ago (why it took me that long, i do not know), I have been itching to write fanfic for farmer/Sebastian. All I have right now is a lot of scattered headcanon and maybe a few scenes here and there because I don't know what time is anymore. Where did 2024 go?

Sebastian finding comfort and quiet joy sitting by the window in the farmer's house is just <3 <3 <3. What are your thoughts on the whole mess in his family and the reasons why he feels ignored? (as for me, my mind tends to go for the darkest ideas b/c DRAMA)

The other thing I really like about Sebastian being very quietly happier is that he doesn't change either, like, he's still got insomnia, he still needs days away from people (even you), but he explicitly tells you when he's got days like that so you know that's why he's not there, or whatever.

IT'S JUST SO GOOD

But anyways. Rambling!

The first fic thing with Sebastian is obviously you're meeting him when he's feeling exactly like you did at your terrible corporate job (and he also hates terrible corporate jobs, go us) in that he doesn't know where he wants to go but he needs to not be here

so there's this connection in that you get it, but then also this immediate disconnection, because how can you get involved with someone and make it harder for him to get out when he so desperately needs it?

As to why he needs out?

There are a lot of possibles there. I find it interesting that it's pretty clear no one (even his friends) respect his boundaries: everyone feels free to just walk into his room, they interrupt him when he's actually working, which means it's gotta be even worse when he just needs solitude to help balance himself (no wonder he hides away so often, he's just trying to carve out any space at all)

There's a recurring theme with the LI characters who grew up in Pelican Town regarding still living at home with their parents, and respect that may or may not be owed in both directions in that situation, but it's also really clear that, in this specific time and place, none of them have anywhere else to go, and I'm not sure any of their parents take that at all seriously.

Sebastian is the only one of that group who seems to be trying to work and save up enough to change that! And yet his mother doesn't treat him any more like an adult than any of the rest of them get.

Also, for all that the game is very hand-wavey in regards time and ages and etc. it's clear he's not supposed to be all that much older than Maru, which means he and Demetrius have known each other for most of his life.

And yet, Demetrius never once mentions Sebastian in dialogue but talks about Maru quite a bit. (There's even a note on the wiki to that effect in his trivia section.) They clearly have no connection, which is unfortunate enough as adults and pretty close to tragic for whatever age Sebastian was when Robin and Demetrius got married.

As part and parcel of the same thing, he and Maru never hang out together in any of either of their schedules, and only stand near each other at holidays when it's clearly a family holiday, and they're with Robin & Demetrius too. They both have a line or two referencing each other, and they do specify half-sister/half-brother, which as someone with only half siblings that is uh, not how that normally works for most of us.

Maru's got a line about wishing they were closer and that she wanted to have a brother but Sebastian never acted like one.

If you get married, Sebastian's got a line where he assumes she's happy he's gone, and if you have kids he's got one hoping they get along better than he and Maru did.

They have very different views of their relationship, is what I'm saying here.

And for all Sebastian is willing to assume he was the difficult one, they were both children, it's not up to them to treat each other equally, it's up to their parents to treat them equally, and it seems really obvious they didn't.

(Was there something there with Sebastian's father, beyond just a simple previous relationship that didn't work out? Tragic or abusive or just low-grade general shittiness? Because it seems like everyone swung too hard in the other direction, avoiding thinking about or mentioning him For Reasons™️ that are now completely opaque and just help Sebastian clearly be othered.)

Which gets me to my next question, which is: how long has he lived in the basement without windows which he clearly hates? Why didn't his carpenter mother just build another room above ground? She expands your house in ludicrous directions, and even if we ignore that as video game mechanics, she's clearly capable of full sized construction not just furniture or repair or whatever.

And yet.

He's still in the basement without windows while Demetrius gets a lab (does a lab really need to be above ground with windows more than a bedroom? do you know legally most places you can't list a basement room as a spare bedroom unless it has windows?)

And Maru gets a room with its own little yard for her experiments so she's got both more fresh air and potential privacy than anyone else in the family.

And all I can really come to as a conclusion there is that Demetrius has never seen Sebastian as his step-son, and that influenced how he and Maru grew up, and Robin didn't do anything about it; whether she ever tried or not, she's not even trying anymore by the time we meet them.

So Sebastian legit needed to get out of there, and I feel bad when I'm playing different farmers that I don't get to help him do that, more so than I do with the rest of them when they're not romanced. (Probably why I keep coming back to his? Also the frogs and general fondness for odd little critters is SO ADORABLE I am eternally smitten.)

[kayooreh]

honest to goodness discussion: is woobifying historical figures that are (rightfully) controversial a marker of "good" morals because it disrespects asshole racists' legacies, or is it a marker of "bad" morals because it prioritizes drawing these asshole racists in cutesy memey internettish ways rather than reflecting on their sordid pasts and the people who were victimized by them?

[juaneloriginal]

silly thingy

@blackkatdraws's sillies

[awesomebutunpractical]

How do I just forget the years 2016-2018 whenever I am trying to figure out why I am Like This?

[fuckmeyer]

Wiggins!) the bizarre thing about the vampire men in the cullen family all seem to be at least subconsciously what Smeyer wants Bella to have but can’t seem to get over her initial vision of what she saw in her drafts or whatever. It’s odd that every single one of the Cullen men are like strongly devoted (but mostly devoid of personality because it’s so Bella centric) but when you compare them to Edward they seem interesting in some ways. Like Narratively we’re supposed to have this threat that Edward is constantly holding back from killer her but I don’t feel like we see that. Conversely, Jasper is constantly the one who is suffering about human smells and is the more vampire-like. But he’s also a glorified lap dog. So it’s like ‘oh he’s a monster but he’ll never hurt me” (things Alice has said out loud. Man even psychics slip up. I swear her powers weren’t so accurate until Smeyer needed an excuse for plot reasons)

Emmett feels like when some women say they like waifish guys because they don’t want to seem like they’re vapid for liking “big dudes with muscles” so of course you pair Emmett with the “shallow blonde”

Carlisle, I swear only exists so Edward has someone to model but I would also argue that he’s proto-Edward before whatever reworking she had to do when writing Twilight for a YA audience and brought him back as a different character.

Yeah a rant

hello again bestie Wiglet! (note to self: learn Photoshop so i can shop Jacob's bad wig onto a pic of Piglet)

this is such an interesting take! thanks for sharing. i totally see what you're saying. in all the Cullen men we see both a blend of softness & devotion *and*, interestingly enough, a patchwork of patriarchal ideas of what a man "should" be. & this idea comes to the forefront with the depiction of the love interests

smeyer wants us to see Edward as the chivalric gentlemen from the Days of Yore. we see this in the opening doors, the cutsey little romance taglines ("you are my life now," "look after my heart; i've left it with you," "so the lion fell in love" etc), the knight saving the damsel in distress, the expensive tokens of his affection, etc.

at the same time, in both Edward & Jacob we see the crude traits of the Patriarchy Dreamboat kinda guy. if i had to sum it up, it's like the guy you see in 80s movies. "bad boy." "opposites attract." he's a jerk. he's a hunk. he's domineering. he's allowed to show emotion only & especially if that emotion is anger. he's persistent in his efforts to get the girl, going so far as to kiss her without her consent if it's For a Good Cause (Edward in New Moon post-Volterra, Jacob in Eclipse). he's a cool guy who's In Control 👉😎👉

perhaps that's why the Twilight saga appealed so such a large swath of women & girls. the women, who grew up with the notion that they could have the true love of their dreams so long as they submitted to the patriarchal social contract, saw the contract being fulfilled in Edward. (i.e., "you can be the king if you treat me like a princess.")

on the other hand, the 90s/00s girlies who grew up in the midst of a feminist revolution & who could see the glimmer of a dismantled patriarchy on the horizon were attracted to Edward for the flashes of radical feminist love they saw: the unapologetic expressions of emotion, the honesty of him sharing his vulnerabilities & weaknesses, Bella's ability to override Edward's will when necessary, etc.

sorry, i know this isn't really the crux of the rant you submitted, but it is extremely interesting to see these contradictions playing out in all the male characters of the saga. it's almost like smeyer is having this internal debate with herself without even realizing it...

[naturalblue22]

🥬🥔🍳

[atinyladybug-daydreams]

Fuck it, I'll make my own version of Bright and rewrite the entire family myself.

I already have some base but it's going to take a while to fully rework and remake this entire thing. The thing's rooted deep and I need to do a lot of research.

So until then, I'll pause my shit on Bright. Until I get a bit more of a solid footing and figure out more stuff.

[mitamicah]

.

[running-in-the-dark]

well. we just saw Poor Things in the cinema. and I'm. so. ?????